BEHOLD BEESTATION, FOR YOUR TRUE HEADMIN HEADDEV GOD COUNCIL IS HERE.
I AM OSHIBKA, AKA DIMAS, WITH A TOTAL PLAYTIME OF PROBABLY MORE THAN 5 HOURS ON BEESTATION (A LOT!), HERE TO FOREVER FIX YOUR TRASH SERVER.
YOU SEE, BEE PLAYERS, FOR TOO LONG BEESTATION HAS BEEN RIPPED APART BY POWERS WHO WISH TO CONTROL YOUR SERVER. THEY WISH TO STRIP AWAY THE FUN AND LEAVE IT ONLY FOR THEMSELVES.
WHO ARE THEY? WELL THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION
THEY ARE THE CATGIRLS, THE WEEBS, THE NEW-AGE TAJARAN PLAYERS WHO WISH TO DO NOTHING BUT TURN SERVERS INTO THEIR OWN PERSONAL SEKRIT CLUBZ AND ERP DENS. YOU ALL ARE AWARE OF THIS NOW, HOW LONG IT’S TAKEN TO REMOVE SOMETHING AS STUPID AS SIX EXTRA PIXELS ON A HUMAN, HOW ANNOYING AND GRIEFY THEY HAVE BEEN, HOW AWFUL THEY ARE AS ADMINS, HOW THEY CONSTANTLY VOTE FOR EACH OTHER AND PROTECT EACH OTHER, THEY ARE THE NEW TAJARAN AND DON’T DENY IT.
WE ALL REMEMBER THE MEOWFIA, WHERE HIGH ROLEPLAY SERVERS (AS IF THEY WEREN’T ALREADY SHIT) WERE RULED BY FURRIES FOR YEARS. THEY INFESTED THE CODE AND THE ADMINS, ALLOWING THEM TO HAVE DISTINCT GAMEPLAY ADVANTAGES AND BE ABLE TO KILL OR BAN YOU FOR BEING RACIST TOWARDS THEM, WHILE THEY WERE ALLOWED TO DO IT ALL THEY WANTED TO DO. BUT WHILE HIGH ROLEPLAY EVENTUALLY SAID ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH AND BANISHED THESE FILTHY CATS BACK TO THEIR SHITBOXES, BEESTATION HAS REFUSED TO PUT THEIR FOOT DOWN AGAINST THESE DEGENERATES AND INSTEAD WELCOMED THEM WITH OPEN ARMS, EQUIVALENT TO THE CHINESE LETTING THE MONGOLIANS THROUGH THE GREAT WALL. BEESTATION HAS LEFT ITS SELF IN A SITUATION WHERE THE MONGOLS, OR THE “CATGIRLS”, ARE BLENDING INTO THE CROWD, RANSACKING THE PLACE, SHITTING UP THE WALLS, AND INFILTRATING THE SYSTEM.
SURELY, YOU SEE THE PROBLEM
YOU MUST VOTE FOR ME TO ENSURE THE ERASURE OF THE CATGIRL MENACE AND BRING /r/BEESTATION13 BACK AS BEE ONCE AND FOR ALL. DON’T LIKE ME? TRUTH BE TOLD, I PROBABLY DON’T LIKE YOU EITHER. BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT. IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH VOTING FOR ME, THEN THINK OF IT AS VOTING AGAINST THEM; FOR VOTING FOR THEM IS VOTING AGAINST YOUR OWN INTERESTS AND THIS SERVER’S FUTURE.
THEN, ONCE I AM IN, WE CAN BEGIN BRINGING THIS SERVER BACK TOGETHER. THE PLAYERS CAN ENJOY THIS GAME AGAIN, WITHOUT FEAR OF CONSTANT CHANGE THANKS TO CATGIRL CODERS AND WEEABOO ADMINS CRYING AND BITCHING.
OR YOU WILL REJECT ME, AND YOU WILL LAY WASTE TO THE EXACT THINGS I WARNED YOU OF.
“b-but dimas you’re a low rp shitter who has never typed an emote in his life!! you dont even care about this server!!”
**-- WRONG AGAIN, NEO-MEOWFIA --**
FALL OF THE WEEBS, TURN OF THE NEW LEAF
THE VERY FIRST ACTION THAT I WILL TAKE AS A HEADMIN ON MAY 21ST IS A PURGE OF EVERY SINGLE KNOWN WEEABOO OR CATGIRL PLAYER ON THE STAFF. I FEEL AS THOUGH I NEED NOT LIST MANY OF THEM, FOR THEY WILL OUT THEMSELVES DURING MY INEVITABLE LANDSLIDE VICTORY, AND FREAK OUT. THIS ACTUALLY WILL MAKE MY JOB EASIER, AS THEY CAN GET REMOVED BY KEV INSTEAD OF ME HAVING TO DEAL WITH THEM. BESIDES,
THE GREEN LEAVES WILL FALL FROM THE TREES WITH A NEW AUTUMN COLOR, AND SIMILARLY THE GREEN-HAIRED CATGIRLS WILL FALL DOUSED IN THEIR OWN BLOOD. THERE WILL BE NOT ONE OF THEM LEFT ALIVE.
WE WILL STRIP THEM OF THEIR POSITIONS, STRIP THEM OF THEIR BAD DRAGON SEX TOYS, AND BANISH THEM FROM THE SERVER ONCE AND FOR ALL.
ADDITIONALLY, THE COUNCIL WILL BE EXECUTED AS WELL, FOR BETRAYING ME. WE WILL PUT THEM TO THE GALLOWS AND WHEN THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTHS TO SAY THEIR LAST WORDS I WILL UNLEASH THE FATTEST STREAM OF PISS EVER WITNESSED BY MORTAL MAN. IT WILL ALSO BE HOSTED ON LIVE TV.
PERMABANNING OF ALL CATGIRLS AND CONFIRMED NEO-MEOWFIA SPIES
“but who would you deadmin? would you get rid of the coders too? what if they’re one of the biggest contributors to beestation as a whole?”
THAT’S AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, DEAR BEE PLAYER. I ASSURE YOU THAT IF YOU’VE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, YOU WOULD KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM GOING AFTER AND WHY. SLIPPERY SNAKES AND WEEBS ARE DETRIMENTAL TO A SERVER’S FUTURE AND WISH TO ONLY SUBVERT IT AND SMASH THE TRADITIONS, CULTURE AND FUN WE HAVE BUILT UP. THEY MUST BE ERADICATED.
AS SUCH, WE WILL NOT BE SIMPLY REMOVING THEM FROM THEIR POSITIONS ON THE STAFF, WE WILL ALSO BE PERMANENTLY BANNING THEM FROM THE SERVER USING RULE 0 WHATEVER THE FUCK RULE 0 MEANS I HAVEN’T PLAYED BEE IN AGES.
REMOVAL OF ALL NON-HUMAN RACES
EVERY SINGLE NON-HUMAN RACE WILL BE REMOVED. NO IFS OR BUTS.
“b-but what about my hard mode race? what about my plasmamen?”
THE HARD MODE RACE WILL BE SET TO BLACK INSTEAD. YOU WILL RECEIVE LESS MONEY, NOT BE QUALIFIED FOR HEAD OF STAFF POSITIONS, HAVE AUTOMATIC GIZOOGLE TRANSLATIONS FOR ALL OF YOUR SPEECH, BE EASIER TO KILL, BUT HAVE A HIGHER CHANCE OF ROLLING ANTAGONIST.
OTHER PLAYERS WILL STILL DISCRIMINATE AGAINST YOU, DON’T WORRY. IT WILL BE HARD, BUT THE COOLEST OF PLAYERS WILL RISE TO THE TOP AND STYLE ON THE ENTIRE PLAYERBASE AS A BLACK GUY. THE WHITE POWERGAMING HEAD OF SECURITY FEARS THE BLACK GREYTIDER.
FUCK LIZARDS, FUCK ETHEREALS, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY FUCK FELINIDS
THE MANLINESS SCALE: THE ULTIMATE TOOL IN ADMINISTRATION AND PLAYER FILTERING
THE MANLINESS SCALE WILL BE OUR OWN PLAYER SOCIAL CRED. SINCE ADMINS CLEARLY NEED AN EASIER TIME JUDGING THE COOL PLAYERS FROM THE WEEBS, THIS SYSTEM HAS BEEN DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY TO TRACK AND REWARD PLAYERS FOR BEING MANLY.
TO REPLACE THE BUTTON THAT LETS YOU CHOOSE YOUR ALIEN RACE, INSTEAD YOU WILL BE GIVEN A BUTTON TO SELECT YOUR CHEST HAIR. A CLEAN SHAVEN CHEST IS BAD AND SHOWS A LACK OF MANLINESS, BUT THE HIGHER YOUR MANLINESS IS THE MORE OPTIONS YOU GET TO PICK. WEAR YOUR MANLINESS WITH PRIDE.
“b-but how will it be enforced?”
ADMINS ARE ALREADY DOING IT FOR FREE AND ENJOY WATCHING PEOPLE PLAY THE GAME RATHER THAN PLAYING THE GAME THEMSELVES. AS A RESULT, THEY WILL BE ASKED TO GRADE PLAYERS BASED ON THEIR ACTIONS. ARE THEY WEARING ARMOR, OR DO THEY HAVE NO ARMOR ON AND THEIR JUMPSUIT SET TO CASUAL? DO THEY FIGHT LIKE A MAN OR SLITHER IN THE SHADOWS LIKE A SCARED NOT-SOLID SNAKE? DO THEY PREFER USING GUNS? WHAT KIND OF GUNS, BABY ENERGY PEW PEW GUNS FOR NON-LETHALS OR MANLY SHOTGUNS, OR THE MANLIEST OPTION OF ALL: YOUR DANGEROUSLY ROBUST ARMS? ARE YOU A COOL DUDE WHO REPRESENTS AN IDOL FOR THE SERVER, OR ARE YOU A LITTLE PANSY LONG-NOSED BABY BITCH WHO NEEDS EVERY ITEM IN THE GAME TO ASSIST THEM IN FURTHERING THEIR PANSY NATURE?
WHEN YOUR MANLINESS IS AT 0 OR BELOW, YOU CANNOT HAVE CHEST HAIR. SORRY, PAL.
GET LOWER THAN THAT AND DISABILITIES WILL BEGIN TO KICK IN. YOUR JUMPSUIT WILL NOW AUTOMATICALLY BE REPLACED BY A JUMPSKIRT, NO LONGER A SEPARATE ITEM, BUT RATHER A MERE SPRITE CHANGE THAT’S SET TO THOSE WHO ARE UNMANLY. IT WILL ALSO PROVIDE YOU WITH NEGATIVE ARMOR VALUES. ON TOP OF THIS, YOUR GRIEF PROTECTIONS WILL BEGIN TO LOWER, ENSURING PEOPLE WILL WANT TO MUG YOUR FRILLY ASS. AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, YOU WILL NOT BE MORE MOBILE.
THIS SYSTEM WILL BE HASTILY YET EFFICIENTLY CODED IN AND ADMINS WILL BE INSTRUCTED ON HOW TO ENFORCE IT. MAY THE BEST MAN WIN!
FAQ :
“Dimas doesn’t have experience on Bee at all! He can’t be headmin!”
COMPLETE LIES AND ATTEMPTS AT MAKING ME SEEM LIKE A NON-VALID CANDIDATE. NOT ANYONE CAN BE HEADMIN FOR BEESTATION, BUT I AM NOT JUST ANY REGULAR MAN. HOWEVER, ANYONE CAN SEE THE PROBLEMS THAT FALL UPON BEE’S PLAYERBASE TODAY. ALL IT TAKES IS SOMEONE WILLING TO FIX IT, AND THAT SOMEONE IS ME.
ALL IT TAKES IS THIS SERVER TO RECOGNIZE THAT I AM THE ONLY CANDIDATE TRULY WORTHY OF TAKING ON THE NEO-MEOWFIA. IF THEY REFUSE, THEN PERHAPS THIS SERVER IS ALREADY TOO FAR GONE.
“Dimas just doesn’t know us. When he becomes a headmin, he’ll see that we’re all really nice and he’ll have a change of heart.”
I DESPISE YOU. I HATE YOU WITH EVERY LAST BONE IN MY BODY, EVERY SKIN CELL, EVERY LITTLE HAIR ON MY CHEST, I LOATHE YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN MY BEING. YOU WILL NEVER GET TO ME AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING OTHER THAN SLIME AND SNAKES, HERE TO RUIN BEESTATION AND BRING DOWN THE ENTIRETY OF THE SPACE STATION 13 COMMUNITY. YOU WILL BE PURGED. I AM NOT HERE TO LISTEN TO YOUR WORDS, I AM HERE TO SWING THE AXE. I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR LIES AND YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE.
“This is a shitpost. Can we delete this?”
THIS IS NOT A SHITPOST OR BAIT. THIS IS VERY REAL. YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I AM JUST HERE TO TROLL WHEN I AM HERE TO SAVE BEESTATION FROM YOUR GRASP ONCE AND FOR ALL. BY CENSORING ME, YOU ONLY OUT YOURSELF AS THE TRUE FORCE TRYING TO CONTROL BEE, AND THE ENEMY.
“Dimas is racist!”
IF THE BLACK GUY GAMEPLAY MECHANIC ABOVE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU RECOIL AND SAY I SHOULD NOT BE A HEADMIN, THEN YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO REDDIT. YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO SMEAR ME AS SOME CONTEMPTIBLE FOE WHEN IN TRUTH THE ENEMY DESERVING OF OUR IRE IS NONE OTHER THAN THE LIKES OF THE NEO-MEOWFIA. IT’S NOT LIKE MOST OF YOU DON’T RUN AROUND SAYING “LIGGER” ALREADY, I MEAN THEY’RE FAGGOTS, I TRULY DESPISE LIZ*RD PLAYERS, AND IT’S NOT LIKE IT WOULDN’T BE FUN TO HAVE TRUE HARD MODE.
“Dimas doesn’t even know who his enemies are. He’ll ban like three people and be done with it.”
SURE, SURE, AND WHILE I’M BEING PUT INTO THE HEADMIN SEAT YOU PEOPLE TOTALLY WON’T HAVE TONS AND TONS OF CHATLOGS WHICH I CAN DIG THROUGH AND IMMEDIATELY DISCOVER WHO IS HIDING BEHIND THE CURTAIN. BESIDES, I ALREADY KNOW THAT ORANGES IS YOUR MASTER, AND QWERTY FOLLOWS CLOSELY BEHIND IN SECRET. CUT OFF THE HEAD AND YOU’RE HELPLESS.
“Dimas won’t be able to do anything, the other headmins will stop him.”
THE OTHER HEADMINS ARE EITHER MY FRIENDS OR MY OBSTACLES. THEY WILL NOT STOP ME EITHER WAY.
OSHIBKA FOR HEADMIN 2020