A friendly clown's guide to easy lube

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1

Ever been told no by the local chemist when you ask for your funny juice? Well friend, do I have valuable knowledge for you. You can make your own and you don’t even have to break into chemistry!

  1. You’re going to be looking for glowsticks, and you will want to get four of them! You can most easily find glowsticks inside of emergency toolboxes, which themselves can be found primarily in emergency O2 closets. You’ve probably seen many of these in easily accessible locations around the station, but the highest concentration of them near every evacuation point, including escape pods. Escape pods themselves also always have an emergency toolbox within their own storage.
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  2. Next you will need to find a single glass sheet, and this shouldn’t prove very difficult
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  3. Finally you will need to acquire 20u of a chemical that might prove a bit more difficult to get your hands on… Water! Just get any old container and use it on any water tank around the station. If the container you find is full, just go ahead and chug it, after all it would be a shame to let the contents go to waste.
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  4. Head on over to the station’s holodeck and set it to the Holo-kitchen
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  5. Place TWO glowsticks into the blender, then take the beaker to the CondiMaster 3000 to isolate the Oxygen and destroy the other worthless chemicals. Repeat for the other two glowsticks afterwards.
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    Repeat Steps shown again until you get this
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  1. Add ONE glass sheet to the grinder and just like above, move the silicon into the CondiMaster 3000
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  2. Finally, swap your water into the CondiMaster 3000 and you’re almost done!
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  3. Transfer your fresh space lube into container(s) that are not simply holograms, or else you will be a very sad clown with no lube. If you chugged two separate bottles from earlier they can hold 60 out of the 80u you just produced easily.

Optional tips for optimal funny

  • A spray bottle from the service lathe (not space cleaner bottle) is the optimal vessel for conveying your slippery jokes to the crew, being able to spread the lube across three tiles in a line at a cost of 5u per spray. Be sure it is on the spray setting and not the stream setting, or it will only affect one tile at double the volume lost!

  • Fill your flower with laughter, not lube. Any time you slip someone, be sure they’re laughing too with a quick squirt! (This immediately cures the negative moodlet for slipping and turns your prank into a mood boost)

2

break into chemistry and punch a hole into space its funnier than being a homeless guy scavenging materials :trol

8 Likes
3

some maps have public botany vendors, be it in garden or in front of botany. you can hack the nutrimax for ammonia bottles, which you can just mix with water for easy lube.

4

Ammonia and water makes space cleaner, not space lube.

very non-slippery and unfunny.

2 Likes
5

shh ឵឵ ឵឵ ឵឵ ឵឵ ឵឵ ឵឵

2 Likes
6

Ask HoP To change job to atmos tech
make Water vapor
cool water vapor
pump into distro
set atmos to cycle
laugh

4 Likes
7

Find a chem locker in a maint, do a little bit of spear throwing contest, take plumbing supplies, make lube and cleaner factories, make a mix that is almost entirely lube but has some cleaner in it, fill a bucket with it, replace janitor’s water bucket with it and it would clean tiles and look like normal water when spilled, but slip everyone like space lube

1 Like
8

Also you can break into chef’s freezer and fill a bucket with cooking oil from a tank, when spilled it also makes the floor more slippery than the water but changes the tile color, making the floor deep fried

9

Maint chem locker is blessed. One of the few remaining bits of assistant utility. (I’ll group any maintcrawler and funny job into assistant)

1 Like
10

Water is more easily gotten from soda machines. They have 50u bottles of water in pretty good bottles (show reagent colour, togglable spill on throw, can dip cigars in them) if you have a clown ID everything in the soda machine is free.

11

Sinks contain infinite water. You can find sinks in most public bathrooms, sparing you the tedious task of asking the HoP for maint access to find a water tank (Cargo will steal all of the water tanks from tool storage).

2 Likes
12

Cries in being unable to deepfry the armory

13

I deepfried RD, CE and HoP offices in a single shift as a barber. I even have a video, but i didn’t finish editing it.

1 Like
14

I mean, you still can.
It just doesn’t qdelete everything now.

15

You can just buy canned air from soda machines sparing you the glowstick scavenging plus i don’t think you’ll even need to get rid of the nitrogen since as long as it doesn’t make some other chem when mixing with silicone and water then it should make no visible difference but i suppose it would take up a decent ammount of a spray bottle

16

It dilutes the final product and will make the lube you spray affect the floor for less time or less area depending on spray mode.

17

Annnd plumbing is now nerfed into garbage tier. Woohoo. Classic bee.

1 Like
18

still able to make hundreds of units of lube though!

19

Still it allows you to skip the grinder step so personally i would just use the canned air

20

And the silicon?