My first bwoink is a tale of love, friendship and baseball bats to faces. one of my favorite memories. I had just started playing, like it was my second to third round ever, and I had been blood cult converted. well myself and three other cult members had cornered Vanilla herself and it was clear that she was going to be converted. but this game is a role playing game. so I role played never having seen such beauty before. I beat my fellow cultist to crit with a bat. Vanilla would be mine to convert. and I would have gotten away with it too if it werenāt for those meddling admins and their movement stopping bwoinks. ooh such a great memory. love.
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some historians and scientists today still donāt know what the gun was going to be used for
8 hours into the game, beat a felinid to death because i thought they were always valid
My first bwoink was here, on a Friday, my second week iirc. I was having a shitty week and just made a spear and stabbed someone to death.
I think my first bwoink was when Dimas gibbed me in kitchen, then I spawned as golem. I asked my master if itās okay if I kill the retard that killed me 4 no reason, he said yes. So me, unexperienced BS golem tried to fuck Dimas, but he, and his āpeopleā kept hitting me. After few teleports I ended up in main below botany and then lago bwoinked me.
Fuck me I was so scared that I will be perma banned I didnāt know what to do, considered deleting the game as I didnāt want to fuck the game for anyone.
After, I donāt know, 20 minutes, I answered lago that he killed me and I was mad (thought lago already mightāve forgotten), I think lago said to not be a retard and I played the rest of the round.
I was really fucking scared they are gonna ban me because I fucked up.
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āwhy did you kill himā
guy was beating me 10min before and was currently looting armory so i shot him on sight like any detective would
also my first and only ban
My first bwoink was when i asked in ooc to heal me, i was two tiles away asleep from the gas and the chemist just couldnt be bothered.
I was completely new to ss13 back then.
And this was second bwoink
Killed Damien Styles after attempting surgery on him to help him and then him quote āCalling him a retardā cause he didnt know surgery
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i said the n word, a very bad n word
me on para
5hours of experience
lol i m gonna blow up sec maints with 10welder fuel tanks and an Igniter+remote
Accidentially released deadly virus while trying to test it on the afk body in hallway. Good times
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First note, accidentally killed someone I deconverted on a rev round. I remember thinking to myself that I wonāt get any more notes after that, that I would try everything to not get anymore. Hehā¦ that didnāt work.
Geneticist turned me into monkey involuntarily. I got pissed, so I killed him while he was AFK. All of R&D tried to kill me, so I proceeded to screw around with them; RD got killed as well after she got accidentally critted by a scientist shooting at me. This was years ago, and I canāt remember which station it was on. The admin asked why I was harassing R&D, and I told them what happened. Apparently, they thought it was funny, and I was turned into a corgi for some reason.
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I saw the sethtide vid and thought selfantag was normal, and used to self antag HARD
infected all my monke on mrp, released them, ran around panicking saying MY MONKIES GOT OUT, HEREāS THE CURE and injecting everyone with my own infected blood
those were the days
plasmaflooded the station and killed like 5 people, said i was ārecreationally experimenting with pipesā to admin
Hotel had no lamps so i went on the station to get lamps
Ended up getting teleported back and having a box of lamps next to me
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Like, 2 years ago on /tg/ I BOH bombed science because I was new and danger sounds fun.
Edit: Why are month old threads showing up so high in my feedā¦
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The first server i ever joined was a furry server. Tried to murder my molestor, but didnt even know the controls, so that was pretty pathetic. Got a quick ban after being mean to an admin.
blew myself up as a plasma golem to kill a traitor. traitor got ahealed then got greentext.
Had played for a while, trying out MD.
Miner dragged a dead legion with HOLY ARMOR into medical, being an MD with nothing else to do on lowpop I took the armor for future use and because it looked cool as hell.
Came with a claymore too!
Some time later, I was vibing near cargo and the chaplain wanted me to join his religion, of simps. I declined, and he moved on.
Later still, a chat spam circuit was making communication near impossible. It was something like āSimp for Pokimaineā I recognised the name Simp (this was mostly before the word was a meme, so I lacked outside context, but I knew who pokimaine was) So I decided to go ask the chaplain if it was one of his acolytes and to please stop.
I show up to find chapel empty (punny chapel so its unreasonably massive) I look around and the last place there is to look is the crematorium. Sure enough, heās in there with a circuit. Iām like āhey can i talk to you about the spam botā.
He wordlessly closes the door, so I weld in. He draws a baseball bat. I draw my claymore. What follows is a duel for the ages, but I pull it out. While Iām trying to treat himā¦
BWOINK
Why are you assaulting the chaplain with a claymore?
My response is basically āIāll tell you in like five minutes because this man is dyingā
BWOINK
Sure i saw the bruise pack
I get the go ahead and explain to the cap and HoS who came into chapel. As Iām cremating the circuitā¦
BWOINK
I looked at the logs, youāre off the hook
Celebrate victory
My first actual note was from Kasual, I think
Be me, borgless AI on lings round but we donāt know its lings yet.
Locate chemist in upload
Alert sec, but he gets a law off before I can stun him.
Only XXXX is human.
Mockingly announce to the crew someone tries to onehuman me on crewsimov, laugh because heās stunlocked right, what could go wrong.
Pops adrenals or something, gets another law off.
Only XXXX is crew.
Go silent on comms, people figure out what happened.
Get PDA message from only crew.
āDonāt let anyone but me in the uploadā
āExcept the HoP, heās a ling tooā
āKill anyone elseā
Now I take kill anyone else to mean kill everyone else, because there were like five minutes between these and am dumb.
Go about panic siphoning and shocking doors, no plasmaflood because I donāt know how and also muh colataral
Bwoi-Lawset changed to paladin-nk
So, why are you murdering everyone-
Lawset changed to lingsimov
Paladin
Lingsimov
āCan i get back to you on that after the round, my brain is kind of melting right nowā
Settles on Paladin
Have silicon existential crisis and desprately try to unshock and refill everything
Shuttle gets calle- WAIT IS THAT A PLASMAFLOOD?
BWOINK
WHY ARE YOU PLASMAFLOODING
āTHIS ISNT MEā
Start desperately trying damage control along with admin
Lings hijack in the chaos
Lings do the greentext.
Apparently some nerd had a console in maint and kept lawponging me to paladin
Explain to Kasual about how I interpreted my orders.
Get first and last note.
Never play AI again.
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