Hello potential good mimes! If you are reading this, you’ve probably seen this situations unfold in front of you(you may have even been the mime in these situations!!):
- A mime in the hopline with a paper in hand
- A mime doing dogshit emotes
- A silent shitter
If I see you doing any of these I will shove you into a desk and beat you
This is not what mimes are for! This is not your job! So don’t worry. Here I am, certified “The best mime on BeeStation” to teach you. But Varo, I hear you, “That sounds incredibly egotistical and it makes me frown and piss and shit and have a bad reaction to this guide. I’M NOT GOING TO UPVOTE YOU!!. Also, aren’t you the best clown already?” Well, yes, now that you point it out, I may be hehe. But, PROVE ME WRONG. Don’t let me say out loud I’m the best mime, GO OUT THERE AND BECOME THE FRENCH WONDER YOU WERE BORN TO BE. But first of all, you need to read this guide. You need to understand emoting and walk the silent path. By the end of this guide, you will look at your invisible wall and your antag roller hands with shame and put on your beret and give the best show ever!.
CHAPTER ONE: UNDERSTANDING THE MIME’S JOB
Mime is one of the worst looked upon roles in the station. Usually shitters, valid hunters and antag rolers take upon this role. And the mimes that aren’t any of those are just silent assistants that do nothing. Your role is to be an entertainer. YOU ARE NOT A CLOWN. Let me repeat that again. YOU ARE NOT A CLOWN!!! You have a license to prank people, but you shouldn’t be behaving like clown 2.0. Carrying some pies can be fun but that should be mainly clowns job. The only exception I can think of this is when you and a clown are partners in crime and decide to do a super duper prank. Sure. Go ahead. Prank security, cause mayhem and chaos, unleash the silent honk upon security, command and the station itself. It is okay for a mime to be kind of a jerk sometimes, but remember: people will hate you more, it’s way more annoying because you are silent. A clown at least talks to you and responds back. You are just a silent shitter.
So. What can we do?
There are a lot of stuff you can do as a mime. You can:
- Take another job (this is a favorite of mine, I like to do mime deputy but don’t take this as an excuse to be a validhunter but rather to be a funny cop that has to emote to communicate)
- Open a plushie shop
- Sleepy mime gimmick
- Etc, etc.
You are can be way cuter than a clown, so people will probably respond better and be willing to engage in your shenanigans if you look adorable. Be creative, be entertaining. If you don’t think you can do either of these, this may not be a role for you, but I encourage you to try nonetheless.
CHAPTER 2: EMOTES
"DISCLAIMER
EMOTES ARE THE NAME OF THE GAME. *wave and *spin will only get you so far. And if someone ahelps you over being a shitter and the admeme pulls out your logs and they only see *clap and *wave you will probably get in trouble. And emoting like you are talking is bad. Let me get a paragraph from the wiki:
I don’t entirely agree with this, but you get an idea. I don’t think you should name the imaginary items directly unless it’s a SUPER difficult thing to emote. For my money, it would be /me points to Honker The Honki , then pulls out a an item with a handle, and screams after touching the tip with his finger! and then starts stabbing the air very aggressively. Something like that. PLEASE. DON’T NAME THE ITEMS DIRECTLY. Mimicks getting hit by a baton is a bad emote. Mimicks getting arrested by security is also VERY BAD. You are talking with emotes, that is not what you do. You act them. Let me show you how I ask for being a deputy a hopline so you can get an idea.
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This is just an example. You don’t got to mime shows in real life and they hold a sign telling you what are they supposed to be mimicking. Let people guess. And don’t tell me people don’t listen to mimes, that is not the norm. I don’t encounter people not willing to listen to me.
CHAPTER 3: THE SECRET WAY OF COMMUNICATING THROUGH COMMS!
Wanna say something in comms without having the entire station screaming at you? Simple. You will need to break your vow of silence though, but its worth it in my opinion, specially if you are in a job that requires communication. Open comms, write an emote that can talk about your surroundings and type the symbol “|” at the end. This will send an emote in comms. Sadly the game detects it like speaking so you can’t use it while having a vow of silence, but I think its worth it. Here are a couple of examples.
- Silent Sorrow opens his microphone. You can hear conveyor belts in the background and the sounds of something being dragged around, and an airlock denying access. → The mime is trying to enter in cargo
- Speaks-No-Words opens her microphone. You can hear the head of personnel speaking in the background and the muffling sound of a crowd of people → The mime is at hopline.
- MimeCop opens his microphone. You can hear him running at full speed → The mime is responding to a call and going to the requested place
- Sexy French opens her microphone. You can hear roller beds, loud screamings of someone in the background and the hissings of something that doesn’t sound anything like any of the crewmembers → Xenomorphs in medbay.
When using this, you shouldn’t name people that isn’t there. You can name sounds that would resemble the departments you are in, like bubbling for chemistry, robotic movements for roboticist, slimes jumping around for xenobiology, etc. But you should only say you hear the captain if the captain is speaking. You can even go a step further and say what the captain is saying, you hear the captain talking with the clown about All Access. BEWARE! You don’t have a vow of silence, so none of your powers will work and when screaming you will be heard, so if you are going to get healed apply your vow of silence so you don’t do noisy screams. Also your mime’s mood will be on the floor after breaking the vow of silence, so make sure to compensate with other mood boosters. AND PLEASE. DON’T FORGET THE “|” SYMBOL AT THE END OR YOU WILL SPEAK IN COMMS.
CHAPTER 4: THE END
Ey! Thanks for reading. I hope this guide helped you understand better how to perform mime’s job. If you find a mime struggling to, well, mime, please link them this guide! A quick link sent in LOOC may turn around the way someone is behaving. And remember, you don’t have to always put on your best show. You can just open a plushie store or start cooking for the crew and be a warm pressence to others with your smiles and claps. But if you want to step up your mime game, you now know how to!
SIGNED OFF, THE REAL CAPTAIN MUTE