Do. Not. Post. Woody. Go. Wood. Unless. You. Want. To. Be. Banned.
One day, when Andy was alone, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself!
He was finally going to make that custom freestanding cabinet with the mother-of-pearl marquetry and that luscious Indian Rosewood. Woody got Andy to help carry the wood down to the garage. After some measurements and sketches, they were ready to start. Andy used the table saw to cut the wood down to size for the side and rear panels, while Woody got to work on the face framing. “Oh my goodness! This is going wonderfully, we’re practically half done already.” said Andy. He made a few 1/2 inch dado cuts to support some internal shelving, while Woody prepared to shape some blind dovetails for the drawer faces. The cabinet was well on its way to completion. “Can you pass me that chisel? The marquetry pieces are just a little bit off from what we expected.” asked Woody. They carefully cut the glass paneling for one of the doors to size. Soon, all the toys came down to the garage. “We want to help too!” they said. Andy and Woody put them to work wet-sanding the entire thing. Then they put a dewaxed shellac on to seal it, followed by a non-oil based varnish. The mother came inside and found Andy with the cabinet and a big smile on his face. “This is beautiful! I had no idea you had gotten so good at this! Your father is going to be so proud when he sees this after work.”. That night, they all went out to Pizza Planet and had a lovely time.
8 Likes
Reclaim the old copypastas, make them wholesome.
3 Likes
One day, while Andy was filing his taxes, Woody got welfare. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy crunched the numbers in his fancy, advanced calculator. He approached Andy which startled him and made him drop his receipts everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being covered in his taxes made Woody even more ambitious to file his taxes!
Woody: “Mister Andy! I’m alive and I want to LEARN TO BE CASH SOLVENT!”
Andy: “Oh Woody! I always knew you were alive! I want to show you the ways of financial stability!”
Woody grabbed a bunch of pencils and graph paper and started making his portfolio.
Woody: “Oh my! It’s a #2 Ticonderoga pencil! #2 Ticonderoga pencils are my favorite!”
Woody then stuffed his graphs into Andy’s accordion folder. The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody stuck folder after folder into Andy’s filing cabinet. Continuously making a flipping noise. The other toys also became so ambitious that they all gathered around Woody and Andy and began taking out mortgage sheets and started to crunch numbers all over them, and then they started to calculate.
Andy: “Oh my goodness, Woody! You are filing your taxes so well! Your calculations are stimulating my cerebral cortex! OH YES!”
All the other toys became enthused by this, and could not help themselves anymore! They took their credit reports and pushed them into Andy’s filing cabinet. All of them wanted to put their reports in Andy’s nice, stylish filing cabinet.
Andy: “No wait guys! My filing cabinet cannot hold this much! It is getting so full!”
All the toys continued filling the filing cabinet, and pretty much, it was beyond full, and broke from having its insides completely crammed. The mother came in and found Andy, completely worn out, with a dead calculator, and a HUGE increase in his investments in his stock portfolio.
3 Likes
The official bedtime story of Cargonia.
Your CKEY (Including any alts you have): TURRET_DREHTURM, MOTHERFUCKER
Your Discord Name (Including any alts you have): TURRET#9178
How often are you online to play/admin? (Timezone): I AM ALWAYS FUCKING ON (GMT +3)
What changes, if any, would you bring?: AHEM, BEESTATION PLAYERS. I’D LIKE TO READ AN ANNOUNCEMENT, THAT IS ABOUT BEESTATION…
BEHOLD BEESTATION, FOR YOUR TRUE HEADMIN/HOST/COUNCIL/ADMIN/EVERYTHING CANDIDATE IS HERE.
I AM TURRET, WITH A TOTAL PLAYTIME OF 000 HOURS ON BEESTATION ((A LOT!) HERE TO FOREVER FIX YOUR TRASH SERVER.
YOU SEE, BEE PLAYERS, FOR TOO LONG BEESTATION HAS BEEN RIPPED APART BY POWERS WHO WISH TO CONTROL YOUR SERVER. THEY WISH TO STRIP AWAY THE FUN AND LEAVE IT ONLY FOR THEMSELVES.
WHO ARE THEY? WELL THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION
THEY ARE THE CATGIRLS, THE WEEBS, THE NEW-AGE TAJARAN PLAYERS WHO WISH TO DO NOTHING BUT TURN SERVERS INTO THEIR OWN PERSONAL SEKRIT CLUBZ AND ERP DENS. YOU ALL ARE AWARE OF THIS NOW, HOW LONG IT’S TAKEN TO REMOVE SOMETHING AS STUPID AS SIX EXTRA PIXELS ON A HUMAN, HOW ANNOYING AND GRIEFY THEY HAVE BEEN, HOW AWFUL THEY ARE AS ADMINS, HOW THEY CONSTANTLY VOTE FOR EACH OTHER AND PROTECT EACH OTHER, THEY ARE THE NEW TAJARAN AND DON’T DENY IT.
WE ALL REMEMBER THE MEOWFIA AND WILCHEN (WHO GOT BTFO’D!!!) WHERE HIGH ROLEPLAY SERVERS (AS IF THEY WEREN’T ALREADY SHIT) WERE RULED BY FURRIES FOR YEARS. THEY INFESTED THE CODE AND THE ADMINS, ALLOWING THEM TO HAVE DISTINCT GAMEPLAY ADVANTAGES AND BE ABLE TO KILL OR BAN YOU FOR BEING RACIST TOWARDS THEM, WHILE THEY WERE ALLOWED TO DO IT ALL THEY WANTED TO DO. BUT WHILE HIGH ROLEPLAY EVENTUALLY SAID ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH AND BANISHED THESE FILTHY CATS BACK TO THEIR SHITBOXES, TGSTATION HAS REFUSED TO PUT THEIR FOOT DOWN AGAINST THESE DEGENERATES AND INSTEAD WELCOMED THEM WITH OPEN ARMS, EQUIVALENT TO THE CHINESE LETTING THE MONGOLIANS THROUGH THE GREAT WALL. BEESTATION HAS LEFT ITS SELF IN A SITUATION WHERE THE MONGOLS, OR THE “CATGIRLS”, ARE BLENDING INTO THE CROWD, RANSACKING THE PLACE, SHITTING UP THE WALLS, AND INFILTRATING THE SYSTEM.
DO YOU WANT SOME CONFIRMATION? I KNOW YOU WANT IT. WELL THEN, FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS THREAD: (This is going to start drama isn’t it) Bee needs some changes
YOU SEE, BEE PLAYERS, MOST OF THE USERS IN QUESTION WERE FELINID PLAYERS. DOES THIS NOT GIVE YOU EVEN MORE PROOF OF THEIR TREACHEROUS ACTIONS? OF THEIR INFILTRATIONS? EVERY FELINID PLAYER IS A DRAMA “QUEEN”, AND THAT IS A FACT. NEVER FORGET THIS. TAKE MY MESSAGE AS YOU WANT.
How old are you?: 16 BUT MATURE FOR MY AGE 
Why do you want to be an admin?: TO RID BEESTATION OF THE FELINIDS ONCE…AND FOR ALL.
How long have you been playing SS13?: 2 YEARS
How long have you been playing BeeStation?: 1 YEAR PROBABLY I DON’T KNOW
On a scale of 1-10, how skilled are you in SS13?: 10
On a scale of 1-10, how skilled are you as an admin?: 10
Have you ever been an admin on another server? This is not limited to SS13: YES
Do you have any alternate accounts on SS13? If so, could you provide their CKEY?: NO
Your strengths: I AM THE BRIGHTEST PERSON, EVER. AND I ALSO HAVE GREAT IDEAS ON HOW TO REVIVE BEESTATION BACK FROM IT’S GRAVE BACK TO GREATNESS. NO MORE FELINIDS.
Your weaknesses: WHITE PEOPLE
Is there anything that gets you really mad, real fast?: FUCKING FELINIDS
What do you think is the most important trait for a staff member to have?: Be calm, and responsible. Be able to actually respond to criticism, instead of being fools and just muting the person criticizing him. Don’t give in to the janny meme.
What makes a staff team good?: NO CONSTANT MOTHERFUCKING DRAMA
What is a staff team’s purpose?: TO KEEP THE PLAYERS IN THEIR CAGIES, AND TO NOT LET THEM GO MONKEY MODE.
What kind of player are you?: OF COURSE A POWER GAMER
How do you think you will change once you become a staff member?: I AM ALREADY CHANGED FROM YEARS OF ADMINNING
The clown slips the HoS and steals his gun, spacing it right after. What do you do?: CONGRATULATE THE CLOWN ON THIS FEAT OF REVENGE AGAINST THE HOS, AND GIVE HIM A PRIZE. SOMETHING LIKE A PULSE RIFLE MIGHT COME IN HANDY.
A non-antagonist is sabotaging the Atmospherics loop and pumping plasma into the distro, along with dragging around a canister and releasing it into the atmosphere. Assuming that another admin is cleaning up the after-effects, how do you conduct the ahelp with him?: SAY “MAN GRIEFING AIN’T COOL GONNA HAVE TO BAN YOU”, AND BAN HIM. NO REGRETS. HE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING.
A chemist who is working alone accidentally mixes an explosive mixture inside of his chem dispenser, instantly killing himself and destroying the machine, along with exposing Chemistry to space. Nobody else was injured aside from him as a result of his actions. What do you do?: AHELP HIM AND TELL HIM TO BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME, SAY THAT SHIT HAPPENS.
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