After contacting many translators and painstaking hours of work, I have managed to convert this report into English.
Incident Description: I was the chaplain and I was serving the God Honkmother. I prayed “what is my job” and she gave me a cookie. Angry, I scared her into joining the blood god Nar-sier. She then tells me to kill the first person who enters the chapel.
Oh nice, it turns out to be the HOS. They enter and say “hey chaplain how you doing”. Scared, I force grab him and curb stomp him to death. The Honkmother, impressed by my robustness, gives me the power of infinite bananas.
After a while of cream-pieing everyone i see, the captain drops his gold card like a nerd. I, like the good prankster i am, cream pie him and take his id. Everett, very angry, starts chasing me, to which i respond by dropping the id and running. He promptly catches me with a flash, and after being cream-pied 3 more times, slams me against a wall.
Fast forward to a few more minutes, the Honkmother tells me to cream-pie Zane for a get-out-of-jail free card. I successfully do my job and start going on a cream-pie streak targeting sec until I am stopped and table-slammed by Everett. with a flash, I get healed and continue to pie. At this point Everett tries to convince the borgos that i am sin-touched and cuffs me. We are in sec for a little bit, and he tries to execute me. I’m teleported away by the Honkmother and dropped in the chapel with a shinny golden ID. “Nice” I say as I directly go to sec without breaking into any bad places with my new powers. I get to sec and grab my gamer gear (the null rod and my clothes) and then soul-stone a nigthmare as my friend.
After a while the Honkmother tells me to pie EVERYONE. I do as I am commanded when someone calls the shuttle (the station wasn’t fucked at that moment). Everyone seems to want to recall so i head over to a comms console and recall, sending a message “Everett is a cuck”. I am promptly stopped by Everett with a flash and cuffs again. I, as the clown, free myself from the cuffs and pie him. I do this 3 times.
In the end, he batons me so that I can no longer move. I could have been perma’d, but he unloads his whole gun into my defenseless body. The Honkmother, in pain of seeing me lethally injected, drops on him the power of 30 hot peppers stunning him for 20 secs and healing me. I uncuff and fart in his face, which results in him lethaling me again.
Additional Information: Will this be the end of my story? No, I was later turned into a crab. (the admins didn’t harm anyone and the only person killed (HOS), was rapidly send to medbay by me after I called a doc on comms.
Honestly, based on the story itself, it seems like admin conduct was broken and Kate was 100% valid.