Erika Parker's "Laws" to quartermastering

The homemade laws of my character, Erika Parker. These by no means are ACTUAL laws to quartermastery, instead the ones I roleplay out whilst I play the role! Feel free to use them yourself, if you’d like!

Law 1.
- A quartermaster should always be second to strike down a xenomorph with hostile intent, for you are the second responder after security falters.

Law 2.
- A quartermaster’s quarters should always be kept in fine condition. Using a lighter to rid motor oil, and using a tile sprayer to paint the floors a vibrant cargonia brown. It’s also suggested to use cargonia banners, for your pride lies in them.

Law 3.
- A quartermaster should maximize profits, as long as their technicians are not harmed in the process. Ensure that bounties are completed.

Law 4.
- A quartermaster’s technicians should always be referred to by the name “Techie” by the quartermaster and the quartermaster only.

Law 5.
- A quartermaster should ensure the safety of their technicians, even if it means death to them, for they are the next generation of quartermasters.

These were made on quick notice, as in one round I was crowning a techie as the new quartermaster and had to fully flesh out the laws to give them. Mostly making this post to engage with the community some more! If you’d like to suggest/help change some stuff about the laws, feel free to reply. I strive to become the best quartermaster beestation has seen!


Valid hunter law. lol

Also, you’ll have to compete with @taylor.
(Who barely plays QM nowdays, I think)


First law is rarely used, it’s there for flavor.
I’ve used that law approximately once, and it was when a xenomorph infestation got to the point of the entire station being deputized.

“After security falters” entails security being completely wiped out, or unable to respond!

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“Also, you’ll have to compete with @taylor.
(Who barely plays QM nowdays, I think)”
(unsure how to quote)

As for that, a challenge keeps me striving to be better, thus: So be it!

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i still play QM when i’m not slumming it in the Brig

Many have tried to dethrone the Quarterlord before. None have found success. Good luck


Allow our competition to go down within beestation history, Quarterlord! May the best QM win.

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I think someone named fizikosdievas on Discord or Joanna Ahmed in-game plays a lot of QM too.

haven’t seen joanna play qm in a while. She’ll still never be a Quarterlord

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First time i tried qm like 50 to 75% of my underlings were antags. Is this what you people have to usually deal with?

I’ve yet to have to experience that misery, rather I just make the cargo bay look as nice as possible.
Refer to the linked image!


too pretty. Not enough dried blood, motor oil and efficiency.

Get on my Grindset


The QM mains are scrapping oh shit


Too many messes! A real QM keeps their quarters nice and organized, shame on you!
And not a single APLU in sight? Are you TRYING to cause permanent back issues? That one’s coming straight out your budget, pal.

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It’s fun to compete for the QuarterLord title, but realistically I find it a bit too harsh of a task for me to achieve this. If I would ever want to surpass your gameplay hours I’d have to dedicate too much time into a single role, which would just become too boring for me.

I try to keep my roles randomized a bit having all these jobs medbay, ai, security, qm , all set to medium and see where I get dropped in. So that is the main reason why I’m being left out of qm job role.

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the only reason i have so many hours is because i was stricken with QM autism in 2020. The only reason i can now keep that up is because i barely do QM work as qm now, i just use it as the every man role to do whatever gimmick of the day i feel like

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Yeah, it makes sense. As well it is easier for you to compete, when you have a head start of 300 hours difference

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I think the station has a bigger problem with me being 50% a qm traitor, who will most likely cause a cargonian revolution. I had cases where security would flashbang arrest my whole departament, for me mentioning “Cargonia” at round start.

What’s the secret SIXTH LAW you never told us…

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Law 6: Leave no Witnesses.


You aren’t ready to know, yet.
Only the TRUEST of cargonia quartermaster’s are granted the sixth law.