Oh No
There’s a lot missing here, considering I didn’t even do anything after breaking in, and considering the break-in was just a door with slightly more access, but I digress, that’s not what I want to talk about.
As the thread title states, I didn’t make this thread to appeal this ban, nor do I intend to appeal it. I made the thread because I believe this is the third time I got banned for the exact same reason, and I want to share my views about it. Who’s listening doesn’t matter, though I thank you for doing so.
This ban, just like the prior ones, happened over the same scenario: I broke into a department, got told to get out or forced out, and suicided. The thing I’ve noticed is that this can seem like it’s just salty gamer behavior or something similarly cringeworthy, when this is not the case. I want to explain my views on breaking into places and why I suicided those three or so times.
First, I want to preface by saying that there are times when booting someone out of a department is completely understandable. Perhaps there are known threats. Perhaps the person really is gaming in the department and just avoiding interaction, maybe they’re armed, maybe they’re disrupting work, and maybe they broke in in a horrible, obstructive way.
But this is not a situation I’d suicide in, nor what happened here.
A while ago, I witnessed and participated a bit in a lovely discussion on our discord - the topic was why some antags get to do their plans and gimmicks, while others just get shot on sight. Without getting into the full philosophy, it’s because some people get given the benefit of a doubt and some do not. This is in one part due to being known players and one part due to not actively gaming in a round. If you can, OOC, trust a person to play an antagonist role responsibly, that’s to say, to improve the round, then chances are you will let them try something super illegal instead of batoning them in the face.
Now, the twist here is that this whole mentality of either giving someone the benefit of a doubt, versus immediately assuming the worst possible scenario, also applies for regular crew just as much.
If I’m in your department illicitly, and I’m not actively powergaming, leaving a mess, griefing, showing hostility, etc, then I have a simple expectation, that being regular interaction. After all, I could have hundreds of reasons for being there that aren’t to do your job or ruin your department.
This is why, if a person steps up to me, and all they can muster is a demand to get out…then I see it as the worst possible insult you can possible tell me in this game. It goes far beyond IC. If you don’t want to give the player a chance, don’t have a real argument to participate in with them, aren’t even calling security if you truly value break-ins, but you instead choose to directly tell the player to fuck off, for lack of better words.
Then that’s not just saying you don’t want to interact, it’s also saying that you don’t intend to give the benefit of a doubt. That you do not trust the person (in this case, me) as a player at all, not even enough to let me stand in the same room as you. Indeed, if you truly feared for your safety in-character, then why haven’t you properly roleplayed and called security? No, instead you give one of the worst ultimatums this game has:
Because there is no possible interaction that comes from repeating “get out” aside from leaving. Either the player is crew, and has to get out of your face, or they are an antag and they tear yours off. It is a complete non-interaction. Anything the player can do within the rules demands that they involve other people, either forcing things on your or just avoiding you entirely. “Speak to command” and “Ask someone else from the department” are what I was told today, and I’ve heard similar before. Except…these conveniently just go around the player who has effectively made it known you’re not worth even acknowledging.
And this is why when met with such players, I have chosen to suicide, not just today but the last few times as well. Not only does seeing this kind of behavior genuinely make me want to stop playing on the spot, but I do it with the feint hope that maybe, just maybe, the other player can realize how petulent the situation is if something actually dramatic happens, instead of them having their way and getting positive reinforcement about it. If I really do call command or go to someone else, then I effectively sidestep the issue. Nothing changes. Even worse, if I just fuck off or cryo (presumably because I’ve already lost desire to play), then that lacks any sort of context to have any effect. The only option I see is just going straight for LOOC argument, which while effective on the surface, is actually a shitter move after a breakin, and feels like trying to meta-justify your presence. I won’t do it.
So if I have to eat a ban for suiciding, then I’ll do it. I think it’s still a better outcome than just doing nothing.
The ban said that I stand by my actions, and perhaps now it makes a bit more sense. Or maybe you completely disagree with me. Maybe I’m in the wrong for not having a monk’s patience when faced with something I hate so deeply, too, though I’ll openly admit my fault there.
Again, this is not an appeal. It’s also not a rant, and I’m not looking for supporters or the opposite. I simply wanted to get this off of my chest, because there’s only so much you can glean from a ban ticket, and because I felt I needed to say it. This is why I’d much rather proper discussions happens here (if any) instead of arguing and the like.
That’s also why the post is so huge. I wanted to explain things in excrutiating detail, so that there’s no way to misunderstand what I mean, having dealt with others assuming I have the worst motivations possible here before.
Thank you for reading.