The worst thing:$^ "A Rope of Sand" by a Crow

Sure, there’s been… a dozen threads made about the worst possible thing, that has ever happened to you, now in this season of thanks, i’d like to regale you with a tale that will shock, amaze, intrigue, or perhaps even thrill you.

It was a foggy day in the station, the artificial lights hummed quietly down the sleek, gun metal hallways that run in lengths much longer than they feel sometimes. I remember, I got off the shuttle and made my way towards the recreation area that the crew is so fond of, and a bartender you know that my role is integral in the general morale of the crew. I was armed with the knowledge that my ability to craft cocktails was, perhaps, the most important role a man could ask for.

I remember his face, his eyes seemed too close together. Have you heard the saying “a face that only a mother could love”, or the phrase “a face for radio”? I’m sure you have. Silently, this man of the law, obviously a very well educated Nanotrasen hired lawyer, picked up a glass of my finest Wiz Fizz. I thought to myself smugly as he raised the glass to his porcine lips, “Another satisfied customer.” in one fell swoop, he threw the glass over my shoulder, never breaking eye contact.

He exits as soon as he entered, never spoke a word. I knew it in the instant it happened. My drinks were not up to his standard, surely a learned man of the law has acquired a vast taste for only the FINEST of liquor, the most supremely crafted beverages. I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead as he silently reentered 6 minutes later. I knew he had given me one final chance to quench his cultured thirst. He picked up a Ratvarian Cocktail i had made for a funky janitor and I froze. “A sub-par drink? No. My fate is sealed”. He throws it directly at the wall and runs out silently, muttering a simple “haha idiot”

Oh, He’s just a molecule minded jackanape come to rile me up. I see, well two can play at this game. I ready myself mentally and sure enough, he returns to my bar and grabs another drink. Raring to strike, I dug deep into my essence to deliver my wonderous threat: “Hey uhh… can ya don’t?” his face changed, his eyes softened and his brow lifted, he appeared entirely remorseful for his crimes, i felt a warm connection in my stomach with my newfound compatriot. It was at the very moment of our commraderie he threw the 4th glass, whipping by my head in breakneck speeds. The words i speak next my dear reader, i do not say lightly.

He slowly raised one of his hands above his head, the other, he twisted into a vile vestigial arm. I knew the form, from an ancient human ritual of shaming another, this could only have been… the nae-nae. My heart pounded in my chest as i collapsed and screamed to any God for help, the lawyer ran off before his great crime could be addressed, and i lay, shaking and blind from fear and loathing, in a simulated vegas.


omw to get banned for doing the nae nae so its forever on my record that I have groove and style


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