Fun fact: I actually only have 51 minutes of actual play time as a standard beat cop security officer. Take that any way you wish to.
In fact, I realized that I never actually made a basic guide to being a normal seccie, like, actual security officer seccie.
You really should not be playing security if you are new…
…but then again, we all have to start somewhere.
So, hello, and welcome to the fifth circle of hell. The life of a Security Officer is a confusing profession, to say the least, so I won’t hold it against you if you end up being shitcurity for your first few rounds as a seccie. Everyone else holding it against you or not is a different matter.
As a seccie, you have two tasks, listed here and sorted in importance.
Protect Nanotrasen assets.
Try to keep the peace.
I will go over these later in the guide, but I’ll say it here and now, you will inevitably fail at both of these. I encourage you to not take it too hard, because this entire game is centered around a space station that’s doomed to crash and burn, and you with it.
So, anyways, conglaturlations. You chose the best possible job on bee station. Not only is the entire station going to start off with a grudge against you for no reason other than the fact that you’re wearing a red uniform, but there is a more than likely chance that literally everyone and everything is going to start off in a negative alignment to you.
Lumost and Izatha and Lucidia and all the other mothpeople are right. The only bond I have in this job is with my other redshirts. No one bats a fucking eye when I do my job right and everyone is hyper-eager to call me out literally the moment I fuck up. I’ve mained a role with literally no reward and with a good probability of being job banned or server banned due to me unleashing my inner Colonel Volgin on the traitor that I keep in a straightjacket in the prisoner transfer center isolation room, so that I may let off some steam after dealing with these incompetent and/or malicious asshats, because this war between Nanotrasen and the Syndicate is a cold war, fought with information and espionage and proxy battles, and therefore it is necessary to root out any and all enemy spies and agents, and I’m the HoS, so shut the fuck up Ocelot, I’m in charge here.
If you opt to be a seccie, I fucking salute you, brother, because being one happens to require quite a bit of masochism.
Where were we…
The people you will encounter while doing your job
There are three types of people you’ll run into when playing security.
This one knows what he’s doing, knows if he’s done anything wrong, and knows when you do something wrong. Generally the more experienced players, this guy won’t cause you any trouble if you do your job right. He might be argumentative, he might claim innocence. Ignore him if you want to, but don’t treat them like another greytider. For all you know, they could have just been in a mixup.
The second kind is the one that will fight you. He’s done something wrong, and he knows you can find proof to put him away for good. He might be an antagonist, he might just be a member of the grey tide, or he could just have nothing better to do except start shit - it doesn’t matter. As long as you start with non lethals and don’t escalate unless he does, you should be fine. Once you’ve got him cuffed to a bed, you can call over the Brig Physician, so don’t feel bad about the broken
2.1. If you feel your life is in danger, and you feel that you cannot deal with this guy, call for backup, make sure your suit sensors are on maxed (like you SHOULD have) and try to take down your attacker via softcrit. Harm intent stun batons
work well are kind of shit because they do 5 damage, which is the same amount as a normal punch, as well as stunning your target while also doing damage. If you feel that the situation is back under control, call the brig physician to deal with the damage to you and your soon to be victim suspect and brig that fucker. Lethal force is always recommended for confirmed enemies of the corporation, but not recommended for crew. Use common sense, don’t shoot some prisoner with a slug shot shotgun if they try to escape a cell, or your fellow redsuits will look down upon you. Maybe use rubber shot next time.
- The third one. This one. The third type is the one that’s going to give you the most trouble: the willfully ignorant “innocent”, the “dindu nuffin”. In addition to everything that applies to the second kind of criminal mentioned above, he probably hasn’t read any articles regarding security (or if he has, he doesn’t think it applies to him or perceives it to be unfair), doesn’t know how escalation works, and will probably force you to take his headset off and get the muzzle from the permabrig because he’ll scream about how security is murdering him in an attempt to incite unrest if you don’t.
3.1. What makes this guy dangerous isn’t that he’s robust. He’s not - otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to arrest him in the first place. It’s because he’s probably going to adminhelp you out of spite in an attempt to get you bwoinked by an admin. Anything you did wrong while arresting him is going to be in the logs as well. This guy firmly believes he’s innocent even if he’s got a box full of watertassium grenades in his backpack, an emag that he stripped from a dead traitor in his pocket, and a bloodstained circular saw in his hands, solely because of the fact that he isn’t an antagonist. The worst part is that he’s not done when his timer’s up. Instead, he’ll simply act even worse than he did before just to fuck with you. Depending on how bad he gets, you’ll probably have to put him in the gulag periodically before the round’s over or outright permabrig him if he’s particularly troublesome.
3.2. I should also point out that this fellow is going to be calling you “shitcurity” at every possible turn, because that’s basically all he CAN do. No matter what you do, he’s going to think he’s right even when the entire station tells him otherwise, so the least you can do is avoid doing anything that might prove him right. In the best case scenario, his ahelps will backfire on him and get him banned instead - especially if you can prove that he was lying in said ahelps. The Adminbus will come to all shitters, especially those of this type, so being the better man is the best course of action.
The chain of command
I’ll keep it simple. The Head of Security commands the Security Officers, the Warden and the Detective. No ifs, no buts. The Warden has an authority over the brig and the armory and can authorize some equipment, but he is not authorized to order Security Officers around outside of the brig, although the HoS generally lets it happen.
The chain goes: Brig Physician < Security Officers & Detective < Warden < Head of Security < Captain
Also, if the Head of Personnel comes into the brig and starts barking orders, you can politely tell him to
fuck off and die please return to their desk. The HoP does technically replace the captain if there is no captain present, but you should listen to your Head of Security before that, and besides, the HoS would make for a much better second in command to the captain. Hopefully the Head of Personnel will NOT be HoPcurity and let you do your job.
And remember, you are NOT command’s personal tool. If they say for example, “Hey HoS I saw a burglary, can you hop down here with a forensic scanner or something” you should investigate, but if they say “KILL THAT ONE GUY I DONT LIKE THEM”, tell them to shut the fuck up and move on.
The security department
This is your home, and the holy land of the warden. The warden is a special security officer who guards the brig, and usually handles prisoners. If there’s a warden, you might wanna work with them, since things can get crazy very very quickly, especially on Golden.
There are various jobs that have brig access, including but not limited to:
- Security officers (you)
- The warden
- The brig physician
- all command staff
- maybe a paramedic who gave the HoP some cunnilingus
If non-security staff are getting in your way in your brig, you should
ask kindly for them to leave recall your inner teachings, and remember that if they are not of your kin, then they are meant for the cells.
Your equipment is
supposedly state of the art, which is why the default gear you start with isn’t meant to be lethal. I ought to go over what you can get in security with your current level of security access.
Security belt - Holds almost all of your security equipment, such as batons, handcuffs, donuts, you get the picture. Goes on your belt slot, as the name suggests.
Donuts - More important than you might think. These donuts will heal security personnel (Security Officers, the Detective, the Warden, the Brig Physician, and the Head of Security) of burn and brute damage. Normal donuts heal for a small amount of time, and frosted donuts for three times longer. They fit on your security belt as well. A very solid portable heal.
SecHUDglasses - Very important, always have these on. They stop flashes from stunning you like normal sunglasses, but they also have the special ability to see security information about any crew members. Examine someone (Shift-click) and you’ll see a little menu appear under them. From here, you can edit their arrest status. You should always have this with you, on your eyes.
Stun baton - Use it in your hand to turn it on or off. Keep it on. It used to be much more fearsome on harm intent, doing 10 damage and being a real traitor killer. However, the coderbus has seen fit to declaw it, so the stun baton now does the same harm intent damage as a punch. Takes 2 hits to properly stun for 10 seconds, and has 10 uses (5 stuns). Recharge it in any old security recharger, or use a screwdriver on it to replace the battery inside with something better.
Disabler gun - Basically a ranged stun baton, however it deals no damage no matter what, and the target will stutter once stunned. Has 20 charges, and fires one disabler ray per shot. Anyone hit by 3 disabler rays will fall to the floor like a bitch in a 10 second stun, waiting for a pair of cuffs to be slapped on, or alternatively, you can fire 2 disabler rays at an arm or leg and disable it then and there. Once all 20 charges are depleted, you’ll need to stick the gun into a recharger. It’s especially effective at medium range. Fits on your belt SLOT or suit storage.
Flashbang grenade - A very useful tool that should only be used for dire straits, the flashbang is an area of effect stun. To put it simply, if you’re in a situation that would require the use of the flashbang, you should call for fucking backup. If you’re wearing flash resistant glasses, the stun is shortened slightly, and you’ll be temporarily deafened. If you’ve got ear protection, the stun is shortened greatly, and you won’t go deaf. If you have glasses and ear protection on, the stun is reduced greatly, and you have to be near the flashbang itself when it goes off to get stunned. Note that hardsuit helmets act as both glasses and ear protection.
Flashbulb - A neat little tool, this item stuns humans who don’t have eye protection, and is also one of the few weapons that can stun cyborgs. Personally, I generally use it as a first resort compared to the stun baton. Eye protection counts as something like sunglasses, hardsuit helmets, welding helmets, that kinda stuff. If you use it too often too fast, the bulb will burn out, in which case it’s basically trash, but the roboticist might be happy if you toss it his way. If you can flash someone you are attempting to arrest instead of batonning them, do so. This is because, if you come at a target with a stun baton and are
shoved against the wall and tabled like the unrobust idiot you are somehow disarmed, the guy is now armed and you are in danger. If you come at a target with a flash and are disarmed, it’s less of a deal as you should have flash immunity.
Handcuffs - Keep at least two pairs of these on you, you’ll be using them a lot. They’re for subduing a stunned suspect, and if you click on someone, you’ll begin cuffing them. While cuffed, the suspect cannot open doors, cannot use items, and is generally helpless. If you are pulling someone in cuffs, they won’t be able to run, and people won’t be able to simply push past.
Security bowman headset - This gives you access to the security communication channel, so that you can communicate with other officers and various other members of security, as well as acting as ear protection for flashbang grenades. Pretty damn important.
Helmet and Armor Vest - Some people don’t wear it until they need to, mainly because they wanna be stylin’, even though berets, hats, not wearing anything, and especially engravings gives no tactical advantage whatsoever. Gives good protection against melee and ranged weapons alike. Its true power is in the fact that the armor vest fits guns in its suit storage slot.
How many times do I need to tell you people, space law is a guideline on bee station, not a rule. However, you are expected to have reasonable justification for brigging others, and it is recommended to not gloss over what space law suggests. You don’t NEED to follow it, but don’t brig someone for 10 minutes for stealing shit from medbay storage.
Remember that due to the engine, time in SS13 is longer than in real life. Five minutes in a cell can be up to 8 minutes of real time.
The arrest procedure
Ding dong, some guy is set to arrest over the security HUD, or doing something suspicious? Time to make an arrest.
IF SET TO ARREST - Before you move in, ask over the security channel why he/she was set to arrest. If there’s no answer, reset their status to normal, and move along.
IF DOING SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS - Think about talking to the person first. Is their crime something reasonable, like a roboticist breaking into EVA to get the metal and plasteel inside? Or are they an assistant that hacked into tech storage? You probably don’t wanna waste your time by following space law and trying to talk with the assistant, odds are he’ll go sonic mode down the nearest maintenance tunnel and into hiding. If they are suspected to have weaponry, be prepared to call for backup immediately.
Think about what tool you will need for your target.
- Are they going to run from you? You’ll probably want to use the disabler gun.
- Do they have eye protection? If yes, use a stun baton, else use a flash.
- Are you with another officer? Do you trust yourself not to accidentally hit them in friendly fire?
Once the criminal is downed, hold a pair of cuffs and click the suspect to cuff them. Once they’re cuffed, begin pulling them, either click on them on grab intent, ctrl+click, or pull with the right click menu. Once the prisoner is cuffed and being pulled, call out over the security radio that you just arrested them, then head to the brig to prepare for…
The processing procedure
Alright, you’ve got a suspect and/or prisoner in cuffs. Now it’s time for the fun stuff.
But before that, you might wanna ask the warden or HoS if they want to handle this business. If they don’t respond in about ten seconds, then it’s your job. If they accept, then it’s their problem now and you can get back to work.
Are you 100% sure they committed a crime? If so, head to any open cell, and buckle the suspect to the bed. Strip them of everything except their jumpsuit, shoes, and radio headset. Confiscate any illegal shit, such as weapons, explosives, stolen equipment, you get the idea. If you don’t know if they 100% committed the crime, then try to hand them over to another more experienced officer, the warden, or the HoS. If this is not possible, then question the suspect, any witnesses (they will have most likely followed you and the perp to the brig), and come to a verdict yourself. You’re a big boy. You can do it.
CONFISCATE DOES NOT MEAN TAKING IT FOR YOURSELF, FUCKING AZRAEL KNIGHTQUEST
Set all of the prisoner’s non-confiscated items into the cell locker, and then prepare to uncuff them. To do this, activate the wall-flash, then quickly enter the cell, uncuff them, take your cuffs, exit the cell, flash them again, and activate the cell timer. The proper cell time depends on how you feel. If they start pissing their pants and try to break windows, buckle cuff them. Set them to “Paroled” status with the security records.
Recharge your gear and get back to work.
If there isn’t anyone watching the prisoners, you can sit at the central desk and wait. You can check the cameras until the prisoner’s time is up. They can grab their stuff from the locker themselves.
The Warden or HoS are the ones who will generally deal with permabrig prisoners, but it’s a good idea to check up on them.
DO NOT FULLSTRIP A PRISONER COMPLETELY WHO ISN’T GOING TO BE PERMABRIGGED. THE ONLY PEOPLE TO BE DRESSED IN PRISON ORANGE ARE PERMABRIG PRISONERS.
Speaking of permabrig prisoners…
Enemies of the Corporation
All enemies of the corporation (i.e. these fricking fricks) are to be executed or permenantly brigged and transported to CentCom in the special shuttle brig. Let’s go over some “special” circumstances when you may encounter these guys.
Wizards. If a wizard is spotted, “friendly” or not, you must kill it. It’s legal, it’s valid, Nanotrasen demands you to do so, and the faster it’s done, the better.
Get a fucking gun. It’s possible to kill a wizard with teamwork and a stun baton, but you gotta be real coordinated to pull that shit off. A syringe of sulfanol is good too.
In Wizard, there is only one wizard, and the round will end when it dies. If multiple wizards are spotted, the gods demand that you call the shuttle right fucking now. Check the appropriate Wikipedia page page to see information about them and their spells, but a rule of thumb is to not go near a wizard unless it’s either dead, knocked out, or in critical condition. Either way, the moment you see a wizard, you can begin murdering it, no matter what. Don’t wait for daddy HoS to tell you to do so.
To kill a Magic Johnson, follow these steps. You do not necessarily have to be one of us security to follow these steps.
- Find the wizard.
- Shoot the wizard.
- Repeat until large white text saying “The round has ended.” appears, and you see a thick pink message stating how 30 beecoins have been awarded to you.
This also applies to head revolutionaries, changelings, cultists, gang leaders, gang lieutenants, and syndicate nuclear operatives.
Shotguns are great for murdering wizards, because they deal a based and epic and redpilled 60 brute damage with slug shot loaded, which is the same damage as the syndicate .357 revolver. Laser guns are good too, since they pop an ok 20 burn damage a shot, and can be fired pretty fast, as well as reloaded easily in any security recharger around the station.
Changelings are perhaps the most dangerous antagonists I have ever encountered, and if you plan on taking one down, you’ll want backup. A single cyborg is perfect backup, as is another officer, or even a bloodthirsty assistant or 5. No matter the case, from confirmed to suspected, you’ll want backup with you.
Changelings are dangerous on one part because of their stingers, primarily the mute sting, blind sting, and cryo sting, which silence, blind, and freeze you respectively. Changelings are dangerous on another part because they can make you slam into walls like a retard, drain your energy weapons remotely (this is why you use the shotgun), and last but not least, literally no u any damage you deal upon them.
Never take chances with a confirmed changeling, always kill them as fast as possible, then handcuff them and run to gib them in the gibber in the kitchen, cremate them in the chaplain’s crematorium, or literally just run them over with the gulag shuttle.
Changelings, although non-human and extremely dangerous, are still vulnerable to almost anything a normal human is. This includes any drugs you can get your hands on.
Did someone say Billy Bob is flashing everyone he sees immediately? Well have fun, because odds are it’s a revolution, and this shit ain’t peaceful. Raviolis are going to be straight after your head, along with every head of staff, so you should stick in a buddy system. Once revs are confirmed, by loyalty implanting a suspected one or something like that, feel free to detain anyone you see without a loyalty implant. If you loyalty implant someone and a message similar to “Johnny Dickhead looks like they just remembered their true allegiance!”, ask them who brainwashed them, and arm them. You can kick their asses out but it is highly likely they will be murdered.
However, if you see a message like “Billy Bob seems to resist the implant!”…
end their life immedietely
as they are a Head Revolutionary, and when all head revolutionaries are dead, the round ends, and you greentext.
Are there funny runes in maintenance? Have people started shouting about Narsie? Are there people with black glowy swords running around? Then you’ve got a cult to deal with.
You CAN deconvert these fuckers, however it is different than deconverting a revolutionary. Loyalty implants stop you from being culted, but they do NOT deconvert on implantation.
To deconvert a cultist, you’ll need the chappie. Have him make the suspected cultist chug at least 30 units of holy water, which can be made by the chaplain smacking a tank of water with a bible. Keep having him do this until you get a large purple message about their faith or something.
If the holy man is dead and you’ve got no holy water, CentCom fully authorizes and recommends going Doom Guy on all cultists, as they are permanently tainted by the dark lord’s power.
No, cloning does not remove their cult status, don’t listen to their bullshit.
This is when you may or may not get to shine.
Nuclear operatives are no joke, and have better gear than you in every way. Their guns deal nice damage, they can stun, their armor is space proof, and they get jetpacks.
Note that their armor is robust as fuck, and can take some punishment from bullets, unlike your silly cardboard armor vest. They also get access to syndicate items, so they get neat-o toys, along with a secure radio channel.
So what’s stopping them from killing everyone?
Literally the rest of the crew.
Odds are the operatives won’t be robust, but if you get the first stun in on a lone op, DO NOT FUCKING TRY TO CUFF HIM. Just end his life here and now.
Nuclear Operatives are given special explosive implants that trigger on death OR when they deathgasp, which means they are always capable of stopping you from stripping them, and don’t bother with using nonlethal weapons on them, the deathgasp works while KO’d, stunned, staminacrit, anything else.
Your priority, however, should be on keeping the disk secure. Find out who has it, and make sure they are guarded and away from the battle at all times. Escaping with the disk is your objective, killing the syndies is just a bonus.
Alright this is a big issue, and you are mostly ineffective here; science and engineering are the big players when it comes to rogue AIs and borgos, but you DO have some tools to help out. Your flash, for instance, stuns cyborgs, so you can start beating them to death with impunity. If the warden/HoS are alive, and the AI is shit, the armory contains two Ion Rifles, which are basically EMP-guns. If the AI is malfunctioning, kill all borgs, and try to protect everyone else.
The Blob is a big ass green thing that’s weak to burn damage, like lasers, welders, emitters, and even flashbangs. Yes, flashbangs will put like, a hell of a lot of hurt on a blob, along with stunning people. If a blob is sighted, begin shooting it and shit, but do not get adjacent to a square of blob, unless you like being dead. Diagonal is fine though.
Xenomorphs spotted? Get a helmet on that covers your face. A HELMET , not a mask. All EVA helmets, bio-hoods, bomb-hoods, and even the cardboard box hat cover your face, all those count towards stopping facehuggers from raping you.
Now that your face is protected, get a fucking gun from the Warden/HoS/Captain/QM. Cargo will probably take some time though, so just get a laser gun from the armory. Once you have a gun and face protection, get a buddy. A lone xenomorph is no match for two humans. Now that you’ve got your brand new butt buddy, laser/e-gun, and face protection, head out and find a fuckin’ xeno.
Do you see a lone xeno? Yes? Shoot at it with your disabler, but just for one shot. This causes the xeno to be slowed down, but not stunned. Being slowed to a crawl gives you a massive advantage either way. Note that you shouldn’t do this to the queen, since she’s always slow as a snail.
Once they’re moving as fast as your 83 year old grandfather having sex, fire a few lethal shots with a laser gun or e-gun. Once it’s down, it’s down, so finish her off. Once it’s dead, it’s dead.
Move along and find more xenos. If you see two xenos, back the fuck up and call for a possible third buddy.
Note that the alien queen and sentinels can fire a neurotoxin at you, stunning you for a brief time, generally long enough to remove your helmet and facerape you; this is why you want a buddy.
A lone hunter isn’t much of a problem though, especially if you have a riot shield.
A summary in conclusion
Procedure for non-security personnel
- Do not attempt to apprehend criminals unless they are actively causing a ruckus. Call for security or command, that’s their job.
- Self-defense is acceptable if escape is not possible.
- Don’t be stupid. You’re in there for a reason, don’t just try to break out.
- Hitting your shoes or a broken lightbulb against the windows is really dumb and will just make your sentence longer.
- Killing yourself or going catatonic just because you were brigged is also dumb, especially as an antagonist.
- Do not demand a trial for minor or medium crimes. You will be denied and it’s just annoying.
For wanted criminals:
- Set record to arrest on console.
- Notify on security radio.
For minor, or medium:
- Say to them that they are going to jail.
- Attempt to handcuff.
- If they start resisting, such as running away or shoving you, that’s when you can get the beaty stick out.
- Take to brig for processing.
For witnessed major crime:
- Immediate flashing or stunning and handcuffing, with notification on security radio.
- Take to brig for processing by warden/HoS/captain
For minor, medium or only suspected major crime:
- Take criminal to cell.
- Adjust timer to make the door close.
- Lock possessions in cell locker.
- Unhandcuff prisoner and then re adjust timer to appropriate time (time spent processing does NOT count towards sentence).
- If at flight risk, ask to lie down, or buckle to bed, then remove cuffs. If uncooperative flash/stun and remove cuffs.
- If attempted escape, stun or flash, and add charge of escaping from brig (reset timer to original sentence and add a minute).
For repeat offenders or major crimes:
- Take prisoner to cell
- Adjust timer to make the door close.
- Strip of possessions while still handcuffed.
- Lock possessions in cell locker.
- Dress in appropriate prison wear.
- Unhandcuff prisoner.
- If attempted escape, stun or flash, and notify warden/HoS of escape attempt
- Notify warden/HoS on security radio for major crime processing.
- If prisoner has cooperated, give them some less time.
- When timer expires, an officer or the warden should always be present to give the prisoner back non-contraband items and release from the brig.
- For repeat offenders, chemical or tracking implants can be used.