The golden is dead

Golden: Ya-da-da-da-da-da- It is good day to be not dead!

Ruko: POW! You are dead!

Golden: I am dead!

Ruko: Chuckling, while Beestation is doing the conga towards the scene.

Beestation: Oh! The Golden is dead!

Golden: Yes (Sandwich). I am dead!

Beestation: Why is the Golden dead?!

Ruko: I dunno.

Golden: I think it was-

Ruko & Beestation: Shhh, you are dead!

Golden: Ok.

(Autisme enters scene exiting van)

Autisme: What’s up, you wankers?! Who’s up for a- AH! What the- bloody hell just happened?!

Ruko & Beestation: The Golden is dead!

Autisme: The Golden is dead!

Beestation: Correct!

Beestation: So, did you see the murderer?

Ruko and Autisme: Nah, sorry mate.

Beestation: Slams hand on desk I will find him, I will capture him, and no one will ever die again!

(Ruko and Autisme applause)

Autisme: Ah, well that’s nice.

Ruko: I am damn proud right now.

(Archainal appears in scene)

Archainal: Atteeeeeeeeention!

(Archainal rushes to dead Golden)

Archainal: That Golden is dead!

Beestation: We know!

Archainal: Who killed him?!

Beestation: We don’t know!

Archainal: I will find clues!

(Archainal searches through pile of stuff while sniffing)

Archainal: What’s that? Grabs Ruko’s announcement An announcement?! That thing is why the Golden is dead!

Ruko, Autisme, and Beestation: The Golden is dead?!

Archainal: Slams hands on desk Yes, (Intense background appears) he died!

Ruko, Autisme, and Beestation: All shocked

(Intense background stops, showing the Ruko, Autisme, and Beestation standing in front of a green screen)

Caecilius: (From far away) Incoming!

(Ambulance crashes Archainal into a building wall, killing him.)

Caecilius: Exits out of Ambulance Raus, raus! Pushes Ruko, Autisme, and Beestation away from Golden Move now! Kisses Golden on head

(Heavenly music sounds while the light focuses on Golden)

Golden: (Rising in air) Hohoho- Golden fucking explodes.

Caecilius: In my medical opinion, that Golden is dead!

(Camera rotates to Autisme)

Autisme: Doc, what happened?

Caecilius: My professional opinion? Slams hands on desk then turns to the right (Intense background comes in) The Golden was killed!

(Intense background stops)

Ruko, Autisme, and Beestation: Panicking

Caecilius: I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

Beestation: Well, now what?

(Hangyul entering while doing the conga in the background)

Hangyul: Clipidy clop mother****er! Boom!

Beestation: Oh come on.

Hangyul: Look at this! The freaking Golden is dead! Pause What do you think of that?

Beestation: Yes, yes, Hangyul.

Hangyul: Yea?

Beestation: Go home!

(Hangyul’s mother appears in a car telling Hangyul to get in)

Hangyul: Ah come on! Pffff! Freaking unbelievable seriously, you all suck.

(Car drives off and crashing noise is heard)

Hangyul: Screams of pain

Beestation: Ok, let’s get back to the point.

Golden: Poking at his dead body I think Golden is dead.

Ruko, Autisme, Beestation, and Caecilius: The Golden is dead?!

Golden: Oh, Seriously?! Who killed Golden?!

(Camera shows on Crossedfall drinking Scrumpy)

Crossedfall: It was me!

Ruko, Autisme, Beestation, and Golden: Shocked

Crossedfall Yes! I did it, like THIS! Fucking shoots Autisme in the head.

Autisme: Screams of pain

Demoman: Woop dee doo!

Ruko, Beestation, and Golden: Are terrified seeing Autisme’s dead body

Crossedfall: Burps That’s a joke, lads.

Ruko, Beestation, and Golden: Starts laughing like crazy

Demoman: It was… yo-… Burp Points at Ruko Him!

Ruko: Shocked How did you know?!

Crossedfall: I didn’t. That was a joke too.

(Camera moves to Ruko, as the Crossedfall keeps drinking faster)

Ruko: Manic laughter That’s right! It was me!

Beestation: You monster!

Golden: But whyyyyy?

Ruko: Cause you’re fat, boy. And another thing, you’re ugly.

Golden: Ruko, stop!

Ruko and Golden: Arguing

Beestation: Shrugs.

Ruko: Ah dammit Golden, FUCK OFF! YOU ARE DEAD!

Golden: No u, POW! Haha.

(Ruko falls dead on floor)

Golden: You are dead! Not big surprise.

Yes I just spent half an hour manually replacing names for this shitpost.


unrealistic. Vexy should be the scout as they too are annoying.

this is literally a 7/19/2021 moment

you are a fucking autist and I love it and hate it


why is Ike not included

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