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Also, guys, plasma men do exist. They secretly run all major world governments from the shadows, and are trying to keep us from finding out. I had pictures, but the FBI confiscated them. If I disappear, it was because I spoke the truth.

PLASMEMES ARE REAL!!!

Okay guys this was the most chaddest thing I did

Be me, simple chad miner
Not antag
Get adv tech, mine sum shit, get sum luut, hear that wishgranter got found by some other cucks
Fuck off to mine more because I don’t know how to get it
Like 20 minutes later I come back, see it literally outside the walls
Hmmst.jpg
Click it and some message about are you sure about this appears, click yes
Tfw get telekinesis, space adapt, xray and hulk with hijack objective
Botnis made durathread shit, gave me some because all botanists are in a metagang
Brute resist is basically hella nice
Try and kill some guy trapped inbetween a table, two walls and the windoors at botnis with a shard and telekinesis
Literally mess with people for a bit
See that chaplain has a green toolbox and is hitting people with them yelling on comms that he has the hungry box
He gets like killed by someone or some shit and the box gets dropped with only like 2 people killed
Pickup his grace and activate it
Succesfully murderbone the entire fucking station
Gild the fucking grace
Literally unstopabble
Hear that an ERT was sent so was planning to hide in maint to bop them one by one
Get rushed by 10 ■■■■■■s armed with mosins and no armour and literally capped
Get revived due to the utter power I possesed
Die again because mosins do 60 damage and I can’t outheal it in time with muh grace
Get TP’d to centcom to enact chad EorG
Chad round

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Scientist, blood brother with Roboticist
Objectives are: Kill other robo, kill clown, escape
Do xenobio for a bit
get PDA from BB: “We’re alone in robo come now we’ll get her”
Head there with a toolbox and crit target #1
RD walks in dual wielding eguns and opens fire on us
Table him and steal his guns
He runs off and my BB chases down and kills him with the help of the clown
I finish off the robo and hide the body
RD was a traitor with an unlocked unused uplink
Clown takes uplink implant as payment, we take emag
Successfully pin all blame on RD
BB starts emagging borgs while I turn into a slimeperson and split
Acquire mulligan toxin from xenobio
Time for pranking
Randomise one body and start beating people up with it
Arrested by sec and brigged
Warden threatens to execute me, I taunt them because I know I can’t die
Realise the warden didn’t actually cuff me the entire time
Unbuckle and start to break out
Warden comes in with the Baton out
Shove her and stun her with it
Crit her before dying to assistants breaking in
Swear revenge
BB has amassed a few borgs
Order them to bring us more people to Borg
Build a Durand and go to beat up the warden
Borgs already got her
Kill clown
Kill and Borg pretty much everyone
Shuttle hijack on top of greentext.

2 Likes

Wait, mulligan will change your species? But your slime clone will still work? That’s epic.

No it doesn’t, but it does randomise your slime colour, which threw them off.

Hey it’s me again and I got a new juicy story for you hot off yesterday’s press. Here we go.

Join MRP

Join as shaft miner

Arrival shuttle is fucked

Not even fazed

Put gas mask and internals on

Leave shuttle

Not even 10 seconds later

DURAN

I get gunned down

Wellfuck.jpg

Turns out some traitor or someone was murder boning on MRP

I inhabit golem shell

Slime person conga line led by the Xenobiologist (Moccha I think it’s a bit fuzzy)

Shuttle arrives

We board

Gods are like no

The mech pilot fucking dies

Round end

Yaaa

BUT WAIT THERES MORE

Round start

Hoping I was miner

RD

Well time to research and fuck around

Captain was a knob

AI: SOMEONE IS BREAKING INTO MY SAT

Me being the chad RD

Welp time to kill a fool

Welder in hand

Suit on

Kicking ass

Chewing gum

No gum

I head to the SAT to find a traitor using C4 to break in

Turns out all he bought was C4 and blood red hard suit

I hard crit him with welder

Tried to save him to be nice

Ded

Welp free hard suit

I take the hardsuit and one C4 as compensation

Illegal tech baby

Turns out cargo got null crates

Rest of round turns into a pirate hunt fest and null crates indulgence

Life was good

1 Like

Imagine murderboning on MRP.

Real gamers kidnap half the crew then rave at them like madmen for an hour straight.

How would you even manage to do that.

rapid syringe gun
6 bluespace syringes
all filled with chloral/morphine
maint

I mean, I haven’t yet, but I plan on it. Can’t be too hard, you just need some decent robusting skills, decent equipment, and an EMP to knock out their radio. A muzzle, blindfold, and straitjacket wouldn’t hurt either.

If I ever roll ling on MRP, it’s what I plan on doing. I can’t say it’ll be a piece of cake, but I can’t see too many issues that could stop me, since security is almost non existent at best, and at worst, one or two guys.

Oops, all Nyaski!

Nyaski you sly, stealthy bitch!

Be HOP as usual

Rounds going good save for a few taters who got gang banged by me and a few others.

Basically nothing except stealing emag from dead tater to order some null crates

People over comms screaming “WHY THE FUCK AM I A CAT PERSON!?”

I wear the detectives hat while I try to figure out what the fuck is happening, why is half my crew cat people? (No cap, so I was acting cap)

Golems come aboard from lavaland and bring some ores. Coolio

person who was a Borg over comms- "HOLY SHIT I GOT TURNED INTO A CAT PERSON, WHY AM I NYASKI!?!?!!
REAL Nyaski- “IT’S GOTTA BE A FUCKIN SENTIENT DISEASE!!!”
“NOT EVEN SILLICONS ARE SAFE FROM IT!!!”

Convinced us all it was a disease

I watched as a golem morphs into Nyaski, screams over comms. “I AM A FUGGIN ■■■■■■■, THATS IT. IM ENDING IT ALL!!!”

KA’S himself in the face.

All panic as the entire crew is turned into Nyaski

Call shuttle with the message “OOPS! All Nyaski!!”

Endround Nyaski informs us she was a ling and she’d never laughed this hard…wow…good job mate, honestly.

1 Like

Nyaski was not a ling, and she ended the round in space in a mech, but it was fucking hilarious

Oh noooo I thought she was. Oops. Well hey, ended pretty fun, right? Stg I thought she was a ling. Must have misread it

This is why retrovirus is the best ling ability. You can just make your target commit suicide.

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Yes. Go get DNA from Nyaski or Nylaa, and usually they’ll just yeet themselves.

Or plasmeme seeing as they
Y’know
Fwoom

Well shit that works too lol

I thought plasmemes had no DNA, which prevented that from working.

I’d assume they have dna as they can be cloned

I’m like 90% sure they don’t, since I don’t think they can benefit from any powers from genetics. I’ll have to check at some point, but I’m pretty sure they lack DNA. I’ll eat a plasmeme next time I roll ling and test it.