made this thread so that players (including me) can keep record of peak mail delivery moments, which could serve either as memories or creativity fuel for further roleplay ideas
A certain date is menacingly looming over the horizon
For player/character feedback regarding EPS series, please refer to this thread instead: EPS Series Feedback
without further ado, Express Post Service units have managed to:
deliver mail to traitor in hardsuit, (for Syndicate Operative)
deliver mail with fine to a nightmare
deliver hate mail to wizard, signed by crew (hello Taylor Fisher, Quartermaster, Marina Pisces, witch that haunts the halls)
tail captain all the way in captain’s quarters to deliver mail
deliver mail to Renault, deliver mail to Walter, deliver mail to Tom, deliver mail to mouse, deliver mail to legionnaire…
annoy a certain french captain with mail during a high threat situation leading to a dear reply, something along the lines of… “PUTAIN, FUCK OFF WITH LE MAIL”
give a certain HoP mailbot PTSD
chase a virologist refusing mail across medbay, station halls, maintenance, space…
eventually, don a firesuit, approach from space, knock on bridge window where they take refuge in with the aforementioned HoP and captain
You Got Mail!
in fact, everyone in that room DID have mail
get basic access to all departments from another, mailbot fan HoP
WOO, AN EPS UNIT. FUCK YEAH. THESE THINGS ARE LIKE TERMINATORS FOR MAIL
deliver mail to explorers… while they’re in mission… at a derelict station… using the public shuttle
deliver mail to aforementioned QM by hitching an unauthorized trip to centcom in an ERT shuttle
deliver mail from an obssessed to their target, a security officer, supposedly a very scary letter
if you believe I missed any peak mail delivery moments, feel free to add or complete details here
glad to be of service when trying to push mail delivery to new levels of stupidity, i’ll see you when you try to hand me my mail when i enter the error room
while at this
I remember receiving mail for observer ghosts, such as Metarosa, or even players in game but not observing yet (aka CKEYs), but I’ve yet to find out how to deliver them
sadly PMing players by CKEY on byond is not a thing, at least as far as I managed to find (aside from being metacomms)
on the other hand, if I want to deliver mail to people insisting to receive mail, I would take one of those several spam mails named “important letter” or “for (adj) adventurers” or “for those feeling X working at nanotrasen”, keep it in personal bag and check if any of those mails are suitable in given situations
open Captains mail, pray for revolver drop. Open Chaplains mail, pray for holy hand grenade drop. Open VIP mail, pray for captain encryption key. Could actually be pretty powerful theoretically, just relies very heavily on RNG
Counterfeit Mailman’s hat: Let’s you open other peoples mail
Counterfeit Mailman’s uniform: Wraps the item in your active hand in a custom envelope. Judging by the fact the QM can open a full rifle, I assume letters use some bluespace bullshit so size can be ignored unless REALLY unbalanced stuff happens as a consequence.
Set Bonus: Can tag yourself with a destination tagger to mail yourself to any disposal outlet without needing a friend
Bonus item, the Syndicate Mailbag: When used in the active hand, can shoot the letters placed inside like a gun, potentially embedding some in the targets skin