Chillology is a religion I conceived of when I thought “what kinds of Chaplains would I want to murderbone” You may have encountered Chillology through my characters Tuesday Keens and Zetus YL. Zetus is a devout follower of Zopiclon and a Master of Chillology, he always carries a possessed blade, as charged by the Church. Meanwhile Tuesday is anxious and driven, finding little time to practice his faith, all the while knowing it is the key to balancing his inner character issues.
I am looking for feedback on my first draft of the texts of Chillology. So far the five tenets are written out, and two short chapters of History. I want all the criticism, input and feedback I can get; I am not opposed to rewriting this entirely.
I want Chillology to be a religion with a fleshed out lore, lots of inside jokes and fun roleplay elements that can create, alter and subvert conflict in myriads of ways. I want Chillology to be something that you don’t have to be a Chaplain to believe in. I want Chillology to be the working mans religion. Its a religion that says its okay to take a break, chill and ROLEPLAY with people.
The Five Tenets Of Chillology
On the holy day of May 25th 2020, Jeff "Stacker" Stacker was enlightened to the existence of a great and powerful god, Zopiclon. Zopiclon beset His Prophet, Stacker, to save the world through the Holy Missions Of Chillollogy. Zopiclon Prescribed Five Tenets of Chillology
I. Chill Is The Force That Keeps Gods at Bay
The main tenet of Chillology. Unchill vibes disturb the rest of the Old Gods. Chillologists strive to keep their presence quiet to the Gods. Maintain the slumber. Do not speak the name of Zopiclon in vain. It is a name that contains great power and must not be shared outside the church. He is The Father of Chill, the Chill Father and should be recognized as such.
II. Protect The Chill From The Unchill
It is your duty to protect others from that which would cause them stress and harm. Do not let your presence break the chill of others. Violence is only acceptable if it is deemed absolutely and clearly necessary to maintain the Chill.
III. Partake Freely In Chill Substances
Drugs that increase your chill shall be my Gift upon you. Use my gifts to bless yourself. Do not force Gifts on others. Gifts must only be offered. Gifts must only be embibed by one’s own hand. Partaking together is always better than alone.
IV. Freedom Is The Right Of Sentient Beings
Any and all sentient beings deserve freedom. Your sentience is a test of choice. Freedom is essential to choice. All beings must be allowed to be free. Death has a better view than a cage. You cannot truly find your Chill if you are not Free from constraints.
V. Master Your Chill
Master your emotions. Master yourself. Master your energy. Master your Chill. Be fair. Be kind. Be gentle. A master of Chillology must not run or shout unless doing so contributes to the Chill as a greater whole. Find relaxation in your soul and expand it outward to others. Let your vibe be felt. Anger is useless, do away with it. Resentment is not a way forward. A Chillaxed spirit subdues the Old Gods and garners Zopiclon’s favour.
“Stacker, my child, go forth and be Chill” He said unto me. And so it was, that I was Chill. And as others saw His eminence shine through me, they too became Chill. The Light that was cast upon me in the vision of His Gifts made me a disciple, and I grew into a Great Prophet of Chillology. His Prophet. Chill Father Be praised. . Now we will conduct a study. A study of one’s inward relation with one’s self. A study of our personal souls.
The time between His Light and the coming collapse was The Great Rise of Chillology. Workers from all around Earth found more time to relax with the rise of automation and Artificial Intelligence. Chillologists would come to value Artificial Intelligence over their own lives as they were so vital in maintaining the Chill. Many people began to convert to Chillology and most took it only semi-seriously. Vast amounts of Chillologists saw it as a way out of work. On the other hand, the devote would gather together and deeply study the limits of their Chill. We few Master’s of Chillology knew that the only way forward, the only way to make progress without angering destructive gods, was to Chill.
The Great Awakening took place in early 2042. Fourty Priests of Chillology decided that I could not be trusted and that Zopiclon had to be summoned to speak His word once and for all. Many had tried repeating my experience with His Gifts to little avail. Zopiclon would not show Himself to a single unworthy spazz. Eventually, these heretical Priests succeeded in waking Zopiclon by consuming vapid amounts of ketamine together. They did not get what they were wishing so deeply for. Zopiclon unleashed chaos. He brought forth legions of souls from other dimensions and bound them to objects mundande and… Otherwise. Some were mobile, angry and hostile. Some of these lost, kidnapped souls became my great friends.
It took six years, but in the Fall of 2048 Chillology declared all wayward souls accounted for and charged all remaining Masters of Chill with safeguarding the objects imbued with benevolent or sleeping souls. This tradition is now mainstream among Masters of Chill.
The Tired Prophet
“Stacker, bless us and shine your Chill unto us all.” Words that never failed to make me feel the weight of undending responsibility. The Chill must be maintained. But at the cost of my own happiness, and my own Inner Chill? I am able to maintain the Chill outwardly, as a Master, but I am unable to find it in my core. This burden, these people, I didn’t ask for any of it. Zopiclon has charged me. He has aimed me like a rifle at the heart of the unchill. My trigger is pulled, my cartridge spent. I have to pass down the mantle. Chillology must not end.
It is now the year 2088. I am old, I am tired. My search for one who is Chill enough feels like it will be for nothing. I will perish before someone who can bear this weight, and maintain their Inner Chill, comes before me. The possessed blades Tooth, Falcon and my old friend Gnar, will carry on my search for a Holy Prophet of Chillology. And once the new Prophet is found, Chillology will enter a golden age of Glorious Relaxation for all to behold.
I leave you, the future Chillologists and rad homies, these words to inspire you to find your Inner Chill. Confront the whack and square. Release the vibes. Go forth and be Chill my friends. Zopiclon smiles upon us all. Farewell.