Bruh moments

the bruh moments of your life on this station

i am HoS, i decide to check on medbay to get new styptic and sulfadizine sprays (because it is very responsible to carry portable heals with you), while i am there i decide to start a conversation with the CMO because roleplay is fun sometimes and this is MRP

a man comes into medbay looking malnourished with vomiting, it was appendicitis, needless to say our conversation continued in the surgery room

as this appendicitis victim takes off their jumpsuit for surgery, a stechkin and a supressor falls onto the floor because it was in their pockets

this was in front of me (HoS), the CMO, some other random doctor, and the sec officer assigned to medbay

i think you know how this story ends




decide its finally time for naked medbay (fuck you fuckers trust chemistry for once)
put penlite barriers in middle of 2 double airlock for maximum security against diseases

announce medbay is naked-only zone
someone says to lynch cmo

when people want to come into medbay, point to locker
people leave instead
don’t greytide medbay because they can’t hack in or i’ll flash and baton/chloral

medbay doesn’t have broken windows
not ONE person except for heads come fully into medbay
heads get clothing exemption
someone maxcaps science

cloners is gone
finally, revival surgery will be forced
no one went into medbay either way so it all is good

shuttle called eventually

fuck you losers im gonna force naked medbay more because it actually provides optimal treatment and so you dont greytide inside

if i left it without naked rule people would greytide and i would get bwoinked for batoning and sulfonal spamming people for breaking into storage (fuck you whoever breaks into storage)


What the actual hell. Imagine storing that kind of stuff in your pockets.

The only bruh moment I can think of right now is when the CMO on MRP gives a lizard roboticist a “check up” that involves him legit stealing his brain, while I, the cyborg, am there. Then he goes on about his day, acting like I’m not going swap to secborg and call the captain, the roboticist, and the RD to get the brain back

that is why it is a bruh moment

Tator decides to steal the captains stuff on MRP. The AI notices and starts a manhunt for the suddenly non-crew nerd (based heads). Moron is completely decked out in captain gear and tries to escape to outer space. He tosses an EMP and no one can shoot their guns. I take out my knife. He takes out the Capt’s laser gun. Click click.

I got a lot of BRUH moments as antag:

  • EMP SO NYLAA CAN’T ASK FOR HELP NYEHEHHEHEHEHE. Turns out i cant use my gun anymore and i forgot all of my weapons and nylaa robusts me with a knife.
  • Sucesfully make the ai plasmaflood the entire station and adding a law so the ai kills himself after i escape saefly, CMO tries to search me and founds my tator stuff.
  • Tator lawyer kills recaller Nyaski since she was pretty cringe for recalling, forgot to turn off camareas and the manhunt starts, manage to escape to the pod and let the viro in and OH SHIT OGAN FUCK FUCK, E BOW HIM NYEHEHEHE PREPARE TO And then a his fucking holopara comes out and breaks my knees while i try to escape with the transport tubes.
  • IAA chemist, sleepy peen my victim and disposal them, reach disposals, forgot to get up and i get carped.
    And more.
    that’s the reason for muh name
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My first changeling round
I had to be dimas for a changeling objective.
Tell him I’m going to space and want to go to xenobiology to see what aliens look like
He falls for it and let’s me in
I play along for a while until eventually he’s about to leave and I start attacking with my arm blade he tries to run away and walks directly into the tile with the activated shower and slips. I kill and absorb him.
Problem:I honestly know nothing about dimas besides people say “Dimas moment” a lot so when people talked to me that’s all I would say.
Cyborg comes in and realizes that dimas does not only know the words “dimas moment” and before I can try to blow it up it flashes and handcuffs me and burns me alive

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dimas moment…

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be me
moth cmo
10 minutes in the round
angela melody comes out of nowhere and sleepy pens me
drags me to robotics
get brainwashed
kill myself
haha loser

angela proceeds to brainwash half the fucking crew on the station

mfw the law i got didn’t prevent me from killing angela


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Just act like a clown, and you have dimas. Though I think a borg killing you over repeatedly saying dimas moment is idiotic, since that is AT BEST a suspicion. Speaking of dimas, I had a funny bruh moment similar to yours.

be me, a ling
have objective to kill and escape as dimas

Now, any one who knows me knows my favorite tactic for antagonism is minions and lynch mobs. So…

my ling buddy tells me his objectives, And I tell him mine.
I wait for dimas to hurt himself (it’s dimas we’re talking about here)
my ling partner was a moth doctor, and made dimas disappear for me.
I was like “great, now where’s the body?”
“what body?”

Turns out, my partner was telling me they were going to cremate dimas, and I didn’t see or respond to it, so they melted him. It was still a fun round, but my green text went up in flames early on.

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Be Atmos Tech
> :e “Hey any of you gonna set up the SM?”
> [Engineering] CE: “I dunno how”
Guess I’ll do it then
Remember Atmos Techs don’t have SM access on MetaStation
HoP line already shut down
Well never-fucking-mind then
Go fuck around in maint, build a gas chamber or some shit
> Supermatter integrity failing!
No access so it isn’t my problem
> The Emergency Shuttle has been called
Reason: SM about to explode
Not done my gas chamber
Now it’s my problem
Start breaking into SM room
Shitsec attempt arresting me for breaking into SM room
Have a fire axe
Call medical to engineering and eventually get in
Spot the CE dead trying to add an oxygen tank to the loop
Save the SM at the cost of nearly dying from the heat/radiation
Go back to my project
The shuttle is never recalled
Fail to make it as a result of my injuries

Be Malf AI on an IAA round
Objective’s to kill the HoP
Yikes, killing him off silently’s going to be a pain.
Eh, i’ll worry about that later
Introduce myself to the station, make a funni vox, inform the borgo what our objective is.
Continue to act normal as usual, opening doors, setting cloners to EA, Yadda Yadda.
Huh, wonder what my target’s doing currently
Move my cams down to check on the HoP’s office
> HoP casually plonks down a surplus crate & is now grabbing whatever looks good.
Wait what, there’s no way this madlad’s actually just summoned a surplus crate down in his own office!
> HoP’s finish sorting through the crate, leaving the trash tier syndie goods behind without bothering to hide it nor attempt to conceal the crate.


:s “Warning, illegal contraband has been detected in the HoP’s office, please check it out”
Captain then later discovers the crate.
Captain McCap - :s “Well shiit the Ai’s right, there’s a FUCKING surplus crate in his office, bag the HoP!”
Later in the round, the HoS tracks down the HoP before executing em right there and then.
And here i thought getting the HoP killed would be a challenge…
Welp, time to just chill for the rest of the shif-
Level 5 biohazard detected
After a painfully long time, the crew finally manages to wipe out the blob
Allright great, the blob didn’t steamroll the crew, time to finally chillllll.
Shuttle docks, a cyborg takes me to engineering’s escape pod.
Hack the rest of my borgs and let em go wild on the shuttle!
Pod’s about to reach the salvaging ship, meme it up and chill with Bastian who was also present
What an easy IAA round this was!

Objective 2: Stay Alive - FAILED

B R U H ?

I swear i’ve always failed that objective every time i roll malf on IAA despite still being alive at the end of the round, does it consider being a Silicon as being ‘dead’?

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im pretty sure you have to stay on the station as malf ai with the stay alive objective

Doesn’t seem like it for some reason, i remember i once had a malf ai round a month or two back where some git found where i plonked the Cyborg factory down, panic plasmaflooded the entire station, ended up killing Everett Garrison on my sattelite who wanted to bring me onto the white ship.
Round ended, was still on the station, Stay alive still wasn’t accomplished for whatever cursed reason.

smh, i still remember the greentext book an admin teleport down in front of my core.

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Nuke op team dies before we even reach station… brah

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Coward ‘Doc’ Mcskittishson says, “Warden listen to me very carefully i want a locker of sec gear or i blow us all to hell.”
“warden approaches me with active stunbaton”
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
Shayla Lloyd has electrocuted you with the stun baton!
(F) N.I.G.G.E.R. states, “Yo wtf just happened.”
(F) DEAD: Coward ‘Doc’ Mcskittishson says, “Hah”
(F) DEAD: Shayla Lloyd says, “nice”
(F) DEAD: Shayla Lloyd says, “quality play”
(F) DEAD: Coward ‘Doc’ Mcskittishson says, “yes i wanted to do that so bad”
(F) DEAD: Coward ‘Doc’ Mcskittishson says, “HAHA”