Be me…
Second Time as nuke ops and im the boss… (back when i had less than 50h total ss13)
no war…
procrastinate on the syndicate base for 20 minutes as nobody can agree on what to do.
one guy goes afk without saying anything so we take his stuff after he has been away for too long.
depart to the AI core with the ship.
a guy jumps out mid transit to die in space.
bust into ai core and plant x4 after EMPing it.
a guy goes in to hit the ai with a knife and dies to the x4.
now its just me and one other guy who is also new.
decide to just rush the disk in the middle of the station and manage to kill the captain but the tide of assistants wanting my suit overwhelms me and i have to blow myself up.
the last man standing spends 30 minutes milling around in maint.
Failops. with alot of bruh moments-
Bloodbros. Kill target, escape both alive. Ok.
Other bloodbro is the Chaplain. PDA him.
He didn’t read. Didn’t respond.
Assaults our target (Engineer in a hardsuit) in main halls.
Robusted by sec in one nanosecond.
Sec reads his PDA.
I tried to use the telebaton.
As a traitor.
For murder.
I got fucking deleted, no questions asked.
be traitor
unwrench the recycler, place it in the main halls
emagtime.png
also buy some noslips and an esword cuz y not
things are good, people are walking into it and dying
push and throw some sec officers in cuz they were trying to break it
get an idea
go raid sec to procure a flash and some sunglasses
sec gets mad
kill sec
forget what you were trying to do just 3 minutes ago
forget that you literally placed an emagged recycler in the halls
walk down the hall
lights are out
ohno
walk right into the recycler
mfw
still get greentext as a butt-naked clone with severe cellular damage
be poly, ascended demon kills everyone on clown shuttle.
drag him into the chasm.
I had objective to steal cap medal and he literally gave it to me but i died because CMO emagged the shuttle and i got on 0.0001 seconds late
Maybe not bruh moment from my side, but generally.
I had a person as objective to kill and download nodes, as ling.
Pretty easy because I was engie, so I just had to kill the person.
Turns out the person I have to kill is a paraplegic dude, with (I think) other bad traits, but not blind.
I was thinking of different ways to kill him ‘honorably’, but finally decided on one.
I somehow got him near botany on Box, blind stung him and casually pushed to space in departures.
It didn’t feel good to push paraplegic, blinded person to space who was asking ‘what’s going on?’.
I greentexted, but was sad.
When the gangs ignore the cap on 2 hp to kill me, a blind paraplegic assistant, because I was mindshielded.
Be me, a traitor about to greentext
Be a sm shard that someone placed in cargo right in front of the maint entrance
The last thought that enters your head is “oh shit”
be me traitor qm
have to kill ai
miners get cursed die of fate
convince 3 sec to roll it, all die and get gibbed
go to hop say all sec died and asked to be hos
become hos and tell cap ai malf, he says he already knew
I didnt even know ai was actually malf
cap kills ai
no other objectives but I met another traitor and got romerol so I spiked food with it to get shuttle call
no one ate it
shuttle comes so I hide in sec area until end
RED TEXT BECAUSE I WAS IN SEC ROOM AT ROUND END BRUH
Not an antag moment, but most certainly a bruh moment. It hurt deep.
Be me, a podman on Lavaland.
Make reviving tomatos, superhealing Ambrosia, deadly poisoned Death Nettle.
Stock up on them, bring up other podmen up to speed on what I did.
Go out to explore the lavaland’s wastes.
Eat the Ambrosia branch to stave off suffocation.
Ash storm starts. It outheals the ash storm.
Happen on goliath. Kill goliath. mfw acid deals brute damage.
Also, zooooom because adrenaling.
Oh yeah, can feel the power! I am the king of this land!
Fall into chasm.
FML
I am not very robust. I was very happy when I finally got to the last stage of cave gateway. got plasmeme fist scroll. my RCD ran out and I stepped into lava. I felt like shit for the rest of the round as a ghost.
took someone’s antag in the middle of a chase
mime
wanted
double esword and noslips
walk into 6 disabler shots and forget to turn on your esword
sec delimbed me and i survived the round as nugget man being dragged around by captain and vibin with the heads
even broke my vows but they were chill bout that
not very bruh, but slghtly bruh.
-> be contractor, moderately robust of course.
-> one of my targets is SSD, medbay central, somehow do it.
-> get emag, try emagging borg, he flashes me, but cannot harm me and is trapped by me, so he just stays.
-> emag borg, he says I am lucky I am still crew.
-> I also had sentient goliath help me kill my target, he was another traitor.
-> contractor support unit is with me too.
-> best contractor run so far.
-> borg gets locked, enter catgirl mime trying to axe me, dies.
-> go try unlock borg. Too many people in RD room, looting cap ID, I did it. In my last breath I came up to the console to spam the shit out of unlock button. I get killed. The borg did not unlock actually for some reason, I did confirm. maybe lags did that. My support unit watches as I die, he cannot do anything against 5 people. I was kidnapping a moff and eliminated witnesses.
-> be sad because my luck ended. try contractor again with botany nitroglycerin nades, get outnumbered, alone, trying to deliver jannie to medbay central so I can get AI lawset. detective, 2 securities and 2 med doctors, including my target, whom I just made peace with last round after being the douchebag I am. Feel guilty af for trying to kill her. I had nukie gear, good af, but still managed to die. Maybe I focused on fighting everyone, that I forgot that taking them out 1 by 1 would give me greater odds. Get told contractor is shit, don’t care. Next time I will try contractor or tae clown do if I am clown, I think I might have finally gathered the strenght to practice contracting again.
btw, I play contractor to train robustness which sounds dumb, but I feel that from that many encounters I can get really good at tatoring one day. and 30+ TC sounds nice.
>traitor
>bought a discount superior honkrender
>apparently turns frogs gay and humans into clowns
>remember i am a botanist
>proceed to grow shit
>grow 100% Organic Disposable EcoFriend™ Eswords from death nettles
>pick up a health analyzer
>killer queen has already touched this health analyzer
>my hand gets deleted
>anger
>whip out my 100% Organic Disposable EcoFriend™ Esword
>remember that i can't wear gloves with a single hand
>remember that my 100% Organic Disposable EcoFriend™ Eswords have no handle
>only the hurting part
>instant 50 damage to other arm, it gets disabled
>mfw i turn myself into a discount gondola
Be me ashlizard
Unga Bunga Time
wizard round
wizard died and i become a traitorling
traitorling ashlizard time
BlessedByTheNecropolis.jpg
show my fellow ashlizards how im blessed
unga and calls of war intensify
attack the mining base alone
bait a miner to attack me
kill and steal his form
return to lizard tribe
forget air is a thing
suffocate
tribe returns my body to the necropolis
gibbed
Rip Ashlizard ling