Being a seccie

here i will not tell you how to be a seccie

here i ask you on your ways in how to be a seccie

Bad guide, did not inform.

However, I have a bit of a checklist for being a security guard.

  1. Some light shopping. Go to the secvendor, and buy a flash bang and an e bola. Grab a tele shield as soon as possible. All these items are easy counters to the most common murderbone items (carp and DE sword).

  2. be cautious, and always call for back up.

  3. Try and capture the target alive, (not shitsec here) with two exceptions: sleeping carp and holopara users are beaten to death.

  4. Try not to step on the toes of other heads. For instance, if CMO is healing a traitor, handcuff the traitor and stay nearby, but don’t prevent the CMO from his work.

  5. as warden, always bolt the armory door closed, so the HoP doesn’t wander inside.

  6. Try not to have blood on me, it doesn’t make a good impression.

  7. Try and use words. There are some situations where you can talk people down if you don’t act like shitsec supreme.

Generally, my main thing is to always have a weapon for the situation. E bolas really screw DE sworders up, and shields prevent carp users from aggro grabbing.

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Not useful, commit suicide https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

So to be a good shitsec all you need to do is:

1-. EVERYTHING IS PERSONAL AND THAT SHITTER IS OFFENDING YOU THEREFORE HE IS VALID AF.
2-. EVERYONE IS VALID UNTIL I SAY SO.
3-. TRIALS ARE GAY AND YOU SHOULD ARREST EVERY LAWYER 4NORESIN
4-. PERMABRIG THE GREYTIDE THAT YOU HEARD HAS TATOR SHIT BUT DOESN’T TO PROVE YOUR SUPERIORITY
5-. ADMINS ARE STOOPID FOR BEANING YOU AND REMARK THAT ON YOUR BEAN APPEAL.
6-. BE A 100 IQ BIG DICK WINNER THAT HAS SEX WITH FEMALES EVERYDAY AND EVERYNIGHT, AT LEAST IC.
7-. ME ROBUST ME CRY TO ADMINS WHEN ROBUSTED.

Follow all of those steps to get hated and beaned by half of the player base

Oh god…

  1. commit a lot of crimes
  2. get arrested
  3. cry shitsec
  4. ahelp

OR

  1. be near crime happening
  2. get dragged into brig
  3. get executed without even being answered
  4. no admins on

my checklist for being head of security

  1. hang out in brig with the warden, only respond to calls for help if it’s an emergency (e.g head of staff being killed or some greytider is hanging out in captain’s office)

  2. blue alert random search everybody that walks inside brig, or to people who are acting suspicious.

  3. storm cargo and implant everybody there on the first sight of a conversion antag

  4. always execute valids, only permabrig if you’re feeling nice. executing by a quick lasering down or harmbatonning them to death

  5. never take a shower, bathe in the blood of all the valids.

  6. die due to overconfidence

A Quick guide for civies when finding a duffle bag full of bombs
1 find a duffel bags full of bombs in a secluded part of your workspace
2 decide to give them to sec becouse you are a good civie
3 get harmbatooned because you are carying a syndicate dufflebag
4 get draged into sec in crit and get permad for trying to give sec bombs
or
1 find bombs outside your Place of work
2 move them somewhere else and use them on pepole for 100% valid resons
3 dont get arested by sec becouse they where 100%valid for trying to arest you just becouse you had bombs

People will give you shit for some of these but

  • ALWAYS random search people you find suspicious or are wearing head covering gear
  • DO NOT talk do not risk your life just stun and then you can talk
  • Listen to comms if someone says they killed a traitor
  • DO NOT take loot people have from traitors if they have proof it’s from one
  • Always have frosted donuts on you
  • If you have even the slightest suspicion there is a conversion antag implant cargo first then science then the other departments
  • People who stand still near you might try shit have your cursor on your disabler
  • Put lights on your helmet and disabler
  • Carry another baton instead of pepperspray in your belt
  • Have atleast 2 flashbangs
  • DO NOT trust heads that don’t start implanted AKA everyone that’s not HOS or cap
  • DO NOT trust non mindshielded officers
  • Abusing clown isn’t a funny meme redditfag
  • DO NOT mindshield random assistants on rev rounds if you can trust them instead give them glasses and a baton so they can valid people who try to flash them
  • Always keep moving and do not answer questions that require you to type more than a few seconds
    Might add more later
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If a changeling dies while assaulting the brig, gib it with the labor shuttle instead of hauling it’s shape shifting ass across the entire station to the Gibber/crematorium. On that note, always put handcuffs on changelings even after they have died. It costs them lots of chemicals to use the biodegrade ability to escape.

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monkey -> no monkey.
10 chemicals, gets rid of any stuns too.
Make sure you have equipment to pick up nearby.