Bamhalazam's (Wanton L. Lampoon's) Mentor Application (trash editionTM)

Your CKEY: Bamhalazam

Your Discord: Bamhalazam#1477

How long have you been playing ss13?: Ehh, 2 years or so now. The Ssethtide washed me ashore unto SS13.

Who vouches for your experience (if anyone)?: Bluezorua/Brickets

Game Experience (More Detailed): I’ve been maining sec mostly, but I have spread out onto service and civilian departments. 'Been working a lot with SOP lately and have spent a respectable amount of time at engineering both on this server and /TG/, both of which at the time I started playing didn’t have much difference. I can do medical shenanigans (ask me more about those) aswell although I have not played here often. Color me (barely) okay at toxins. I’ve also meddled a bit in xenobio but not even as a scientist, more as random roles. The image attached below is of my playtime.

P.S. I am not allowed to post images so here is a link for the image. Sorry for the inconvenience!
P.P.S. That went haywire. Here is a list instead.

Ghost - 37,5h//Living - 329h

  • Security Officer 61,3h
  • Head of Security 31,0h
  • Lawyer 25,6h
  • AI 23,3h
  • Warden 21,2h
  • Paramedic 18h
  • Medical Doctor 17,7h
  • Atmospheric Technician 15,5h
  • Janitor 15,0h (People who main this are heroes)
  • Head of Personnel 11,2h
  • Detective 9h
  • Cyborg 8,5h
  • Captain 8,2h
  • Station Engineer 5,8h
  • Brig Physician 5,7h
  • Chief Engineer 5,5h
  • Assistant 4,8h
  • Cook 4h
  • Bartender 2,7h
  • Shaft miner 2,7h
  • Curator 1,8h
  • Geneticist 1,7h
  • Psychiatrist 1,8h
  • Chemist 1,3h (I can do chems, trust me :joker:)
  • Cargo Technician 1,2h
  • Roboticist 1h
  • Quartermaster 0,8h
  • Virologist and Mime 0,7h
  • CMO should be atleast 5 hours but I do not know where that went.
    Other roles are less than an hour
1 Like

Sci usually has the most questions asked, so you might wanna jack up hours as scientist a bit (or just wikidive lol). I’m just gonna ask some of the most common sci questions along with botany since you don’t have a lot of hours there.

  1. How to mutate plants?
  2. How do you get rainbow slimes in xenobio?
  3. What does densified chem trait do in plants?
  4. Which slime allows you to make advanced mutation toxin?
  5. Which chem makes botany trays golden?
  6. What does ammonia and saltpetre do to a plant?
  7. What xenobio crossbreed gives you passive meth-like speeds?
  8. How do you get spaceman trumpets?

Alright, then!

  1. You use mutagen (this has been edited by mutagen gang) or I believe it was left 4 zed to mutate plants and give them traits
  2. I have not meddled in this too much, but I will try. I’m assuming you already know the basics of xenobio before asking this question since you’re looking to create a rainbow slime. Obviously before you do anything, get an extinguisher. After getting an extinguisher, you should notice you have a couple a grey slimes. Before starting you should know, that to acquire a rainbow slime you must breed a slime with 100% mutation chance. Go and pick out the best mutation chanced ones and separate them from the plebs. Feed them primates until you get orange and eventually red slimes. Acquire their extract and inject it with plasma. It should make a slime mutation potion. I don’t know the exact percentage it increases the mutation chance by, but a coworker that taught me xenobio told me it increases it quite a bit. Experiment. You’re the RnD department after all! Find a good slime, with a high mutation chance chance to feed the potion to. Breeding is the key. If you don’t have the slimes with the evolution chance required, breed more of them until you have the best. IIRC 90% is good enough, you can feed them the potion and then they’ll have a 100% evolution chance. Breed them. Enjoy the gay slime!
  3. I do not know exactly. I may pass this ticket, haven’t been playing botanist. I think it allows plants to store more produced chemicals?
  4. Black.
  5. I’ve seen botanists with ambrosia gaia branches which contains Earthsblood and Omnizine, so I would tell the person to stuff the tray with ambrosia gaia and hope for the best.
  6. I believe saltpetre heals and feeds it. Formerly Sal’s. Ammonia: hack the nutrivend for it, don’t get bwoinked by sec for going into chem for it and enjoy increased yield. (I meant yield originally, this word was edited).
    7: BS slime. If there is anything in xenobio I have learned it’s: make BS slime and give it’s extract water. Profit as the station’s infrastructure rejoices and everyone moves faster than a speeding bullet.
  7. I’m assuming you’re talking about a trumpet: try checking the bar or ordering some from cargo in an instrument crate. You may even have an instrument beacon which can be used to deliver instruments. If you wish to mimic a trumpet, a synthesator can do it just as well, although without the looks.

The quickest way is by spamming 5u of unstable mutagen at a time, left 4 zed when applied to a tray makes a plant auto mutate twice when harvested, but it also caps the plant’s yield to 1. Mutadone doesn’t do anything

Yeah, that’s actually much more detailed than I expected.

Correct, it increases the maximum amount of chems a plant can hold, but not the amount of chems it has.


The chem is Earthsblood which ambrosia gaia has, but remember only ambrosia deus and lifeweed have omnizine.

Saltpetre increases the potency of the plant according to how much you added (generally 1 potency fir each 2u you put in) and it also has a chance to reduce the plant’s production speed, reaching 100% at 100u.

Ammonia only increases yield.

That does give bluespace tiling, but there’s a crossbreed which when carried in your backpack makes you as fast as someone on meth with literally no drawbacks.

Spaceman trumpet is a plant you get by mutating lilies, but yes that is how you get a trumpet.

Overall just play botany for a bit and I can give this a +1

Alrighty, my turn.

Question One: Someone mentorhelps asking for about how to setup the supermatter. What do you tell them, including any further questions you ask?
Question Two: Someone whose Ckey you know mhelps about an antagonist-related question, and you’re playing Security. How do you deal with this?
Question Three: Somebody asks you how to make Krokodil, and judging from the calls to lynch virology over comms, you’re guessing it’s for a good reason. However, you don’t know the recipe. What do you do?
Question Four: Oh no, the supermatter exploded again! Some engineer then mhelps asking how else the station can be powered. Tell me first what you’d tell them, and then give as exhaustive of a list as you can.
Question Five: Someone mhelps that they’ve been teleported into space, and asks why. What are the ways that this could have happened?

My standard issue question about the truely obscure

How do clock cultists make agent cards?

how do you draw a rune as a heretic?

how does the void torch work?

how does the veil shifter work?

how to make blood?(chemical reaction)

which LEGAL way can you confirm a ling?

  1. Well, I usually start by finding the local tank dispenser, unwrenching it, dragging it behind me and going to the rad collectors (the boxes surrounding the SM), wrenching the tank dispenser, vending the three tanks, inserting them and to making sure that the the rad collectors are active by clicking them. Repeat the process on both sides. After that, get a radsuit and mesons, locate the SM air alarm and set all the vents to internal (forgot what it’s called, just make the button that makes vents dump all their contents into a chamber go green). To double check if the vents are set correctly, look at the output pressure. Should be 0 kPa. That means the pipe is dumping all of it’s contents into the chamber. Next, set the scrubbers to expanded range. While you’re leaving the SM chamber, close the rad shutters. Next, you get to starting the loop so the gas goes in a funny donut manner. Make sure the filter leading 2 ports is on, walk down to the cooling loop, make sure the bypass is off and that the pumps leading to and from the cooling loop are straight. Then just tell them to double check if every pump and filter is on and filtering the correct gases, in this case only N2 before connecting the tanks and letting loose all the nitrogen into the SM. If all that is set, I will, of course, congratulate them on doing the hard part, tell them to fire up the emitters, walk over to the SMES and tell them to max out the input. I would ask them later on if they know how to check on the SM just incase. If they don’t, I’d teach them how to use the engineering console and where to find it.
    2: I answer the question and forget about it. No validhunting. If they get caught, they get caught. No personal questions. Maybe in OOC chat after the round.
    3: I don’t know the recipe and there’s likely another mentor around. I’m inexperienced in dealing with that stuff so I pass it up and give it to them. Plus, again, I don’t know the recipe so I quickly wikidive and try to see what it contains. If there is no mentor, then I use the data I expertly gathered from the wiki and link the wiki to them along with a recipe ingame. The wiki exists for a reason and I’m here to be your google assistant looking for answers!
    4: Well, I’d congratulate them on their explosion and move on to telling them how to wire solars, bother cargo for antimatter parts, refer them to a picture of the original, undamaged SM for rebuilding, how to use inducers to power areas for emergencies, how to set up a tesla or a singulo, although warning them afterwards that it’d be not reccommended since they uhh… couldn’t handle a SM. Solars are the safest bet for them.
    5: There are many a reasons! Too many to list infact, but I will try. A couple of questions that should get the mhelper on the right track: Were you in dark, soggy maints with botany being confirmed as shitters making bluespace fruits? Has a random portal appeared in the middle of maint? Maybe it was not so random, for you saw a man with a handheld teleporter. Or you had a mutation. Maybe, just maybe, there was a suspicious man and you appeared ontop of some kind of a briefcase. Perhaps you were translocated in a wormhole. I hope these questions can help the mhelper get back on track and ask the correct questions. Or you know, I could just ask him like a normal person what he was doing l when he got teleported and go from there.

I haven’t been long enough here for this level of omnipotence. Why?

  1. Convert a traitor, that is assuming that somebody ever asks this question, I do not know why, I do not want to know why. In this day and age, clock cult is a thing of the past so I am assuming it is a normal round that the admins summoned the cult onto. Find a traitor.

  2. Click the icon in the top left named “Mansus Grasp”. Once you have a green arm from god knows where, use it in your hand by clicking on it while it is in your active hand or press Z.

  3. It was a long time since I last used it. The void torch is used to teleport items to other cultists, usually from the safety of your base. You had to use the void torch on the desired object and select the destination.

  4. A syndicate teleporter, but magic. It allows you to dash forward 4 tiles along with the object you are pulling. It is assumed that the object you are pulling is another victim, so be mindful of walls.

  5. Euuhhh… Technically feeding yourself iron pills that you acquire from chemistry and then proceeding to take an IV drip or syringe and drain yourself IS a conversion reaction. For detailed information, please visit the National Institute of Health webpage.

  6. I would not suggest standing next to them in order to try and find out if they try injecting chemicals into you, although that is an option. Try BZ, if they feel the urge to suddenly run away, call security. If you ARE security, check for mindshields on personnel that should have them and if you’ve already started searching them, search it all. Changelings have changing abilities, that includes being able to morph clothes onto their flesh to mimic them. If you cannot remove a certain article of clothing, either back off and call for help or stun it immediately and ascertain whether the individual in question is a ling or just cursed.

the BZ check is techincly allowed, but it doesnt have any visable signs just that they cant use there powers.

Question Number 6, by Autisme.

I have just been informed that lingchecking is against the rules and I am stupid.

“One may know how to conquer without being able to do it. Go and check that ling if you want to but don’t get banished.” - Sun Tzu, the art of war.

I like it when wanton does a legal case.

Alright, question time

1: Dead person gets dragged to medbay, skull icon on medhud. Causes? Treatment?

2: Husked person in medbay, cloner disabled in config due to me wanting to get an answer that isn’t “rebuild the cloner” admin fuckery, what do?

3: What crossbreed instantly heals you upon usage?

4: Someone mentorhelps asking why they can’t sacrifice their target as a heretic, they say the corpse is on the rune and it won’t work. Causes? Answer?

5: Clown or mime?

I think that’s this person’s two recent bans should be taken under consideration when making the decision to approves mentorship.


I had a set of questions here I set up, but since the mentor app has seemed to go stale I have removed them.

Other players have noted a increase in bans as well as generally poor behavior.

Gonna be my first -1 from me hoss.

I might be mistaken but isn’t Watson Lampoon a moth? if that is a case it doesn’t seem to fit naming guidelines.

Edit: Misread Wanton as Watson but still seems off.

This is true, Wanton is middle english, not latin.

Recent server ban only yesterday makes me lean towards a -1 in this instance.

We uphold a good standard for Mentors as they are deemed a member of staff, Mentors that get banned or repeat pulled up doesn’t show a good image.

If you can improve your behavior you might be in with a good chance on this chief.


i don’t need a purity test, if you treat people good in mhelps and you don’t have any metagame related bans, you should be a mentor. everyone has some knowledge to offer.

Sigh - I don’t agree with this at all, the caliber of the bans alone shouldn’t be reasoning for giving someone mentor, they are serving a week ban only yesterday, a day after their mentor application.

They have shown they can’t get pulled up and have been banned for a week and previous notes are not the best.

P.S we don’t want quantity, we really want quality.


Mentors are staff, therefore mentors should be treated with the same scrutiny as admins when it comes to knowing and following the server rules.

Considering your current ban this will be a -1 from me, but you sure show the potential to become a mentor in the future if you improve your attitude towards the server rules